Did you ever look so nice?

32 Weeks

2012-02-14T15:04:00.008-06:00

It's taking a lot of pride-swallowing to post this belly picture. Yes, I know I am gestating a precious little life, but oh my Moby Dick! As you can see, I've gotten to the point of the pregnancy where my belly is literally hanging out of both my shirt and the top of my non-maternity yoga pants. Klassy! It's safe to say that it's probably the last time I will be wearing this white ruched T-shirt and pulling out all my "big mama" wear: the muu muus, the over-the-belly pants, etc. No intervention necessary. I know y'all love me, but I know you don't want to see my belly hanging out, neitha.
And, to give y'all an adequate picture of where my mind is right now, not only did I forget to take a 28 week picture completely, but I realized during this post that I never posted 24 weeks, either. So here tis. Merry Christmas!

Anyway, 32 weeks! I'm feeling pretty good. I've had VERY few contractions since I started starting off my day by getting up early and forcing myself to chug 2 Camelbak bottles full of water before the boys wake up. One of the nurses from Dr. S's office suggested this. Chug before the kids wake up. I highly recommend for any of you other moms pregnant with subsequent babies. I'm also not feeling that worn down. I think my L&D trip was majorly caused by stress from our kitchen project and more than anything, dehydration. I feel like I drink more water than a lot of people, but apparently this whale-like body needs LOTS of water.

The baby is coming in 7.5 weeks! That is almost two months, but really not a lot of time. We're transitioning from kitchen stuff to baby preparation. Last weekend, Michael cleared out our guest room and set up what will be Noah's crib in there. Yes, two cribs in this house! No way in hell am I moving Noah to a big boy bed when he is sleeping well in his crib. I'm not making that mistake, again. (When Noah was born, I had to deal with JM getting out of his new bed all the time, aye yi yi! No bueno). Anyway, Noah is moving out of the nursery and into the VERY girly guest room. Our plan is to keep Noah in there for a few months until the new babe has settled in and then the "big boys" will share JM's room. JM is very excited about it. Until then, sorry Noah about the pink and green! (Wouldn't it have been such a lovely little girl's room? :sobs:) Noah, I'm going to try to "man" your room up in the next few weeks.

Next week, we are painting the nursery. We are going from blue and navy to grey and yellow. I think my husband pretty much rocks for letting me do this even though the gender of our baby is not changing. But, seriously, think of the money we're saving not having to buy hair bows, tights and smocked dresses! It's fun to get ready in a new way for this new little life.

And, I think we might have a name for this baby! Michael and I have both agreed on a number one choice. I had been stressing for a long time, but I think I finally came around to the name Michael liked the best. Sorry, we're not telling in case we change our minds! You'll find out soon enough unless you can wrangle it out of loose lips John Michael!

Cooking with Gas

2012-02-03T10:27:00.012-06:00

I am sitting here guzzling water and putting my feet up, as Noah plays in the playhouse. No contractions at all yesterday, so I'm feeling better about things. I think the water is helping tremendously. As of yesterday around 2pm, we have new countertops, a kitchen sink, a dishwasher and appliances! Last night, I made a dinner that was not a casserole, we ate on real plates and with real silverware, then put our dishes into the new dishwasher just like any other American family and it felt NICE!

Let me take you on a tour and show you my favorite things so far....
1. Our breakfast bar is 37" wide. Our old one was about 15" and completely useless. This one has 15" cabinets underneath, so I have extra storage. I see a lot of homework and art projects done at this counter

2. Farm sink. Love. Can't wait to bathe H3 in here in 9 weeks or so. (Hear that H3? I said 9 weeks!!!)
3. Cookin with gas! Did any of you see the Bachelor with Charlie O'Connell? There was one episode where he used the term "cookin... with gas" about 50 times to reference his making out with all the ladies. That guy was such a goob. Not my favorite Bachelor season, but I guess he was entertaining. Anyway, I think of this when I'm here, although I really am cooking, with gas. I am so happy to have a gas stove! Making eggs and sausage this morning (I have my glucose test this afternoon, usually we're more cereal people), I felt like a line cook and I looooved it!

Anyway, I had a lot of trouble finding a gas range. My backsplash is only 5 inches high, so I couldn't have anything that had your typical controls in the back. I also wanted a double oven with a warming feature. Honestly, because I love cooking so much, I started out looking at the really elite stuff (Bluestar, Capital Culinarian, Wolf, etc.), but my practical nature drew me to this drop-in double oven from the GE Cafe series. I'm pretty sure it was the only range out there that had all the features that I wanted. Those Wolves, etc. may be fancy, but some don't have self-cleaning, delayed cooking settings, nor the ever-important child locks. This range has a convection oven on the bottom, space for me to cook both a turkey and a pie at different temps at the same time and the middle part of the top burners switches out to a griddle, so I can make pancakes and quesadillas on there. I like that GE is an American company, too.
4. The pantry. My old pantry was approximately 30 inches wide, with weird cut outs that made it hard to reach items in the back. This pantry is nice and wide, with slide-out shelves that make finding things easy. Being a Virgo, I took great delight in organizing the new pantry with containers and baskets from the Container Store. 5. The dishwasher! Our old dishwasher was probably 15 years-old. We had to run the pots and pans setting to get anything clean and worst of all, our gigantic Pottery Barn dinner plates did not fit very well in there. We could only fit 4 dinner plates in the old dishwasher, which was no bueno. This new Bosch puppy that I got has adjustable shelves, a top rack for silverware and can fit an entire 10 piece placesetting of our dinnerware in it! I splurged on the dishwasher, but as we use it every day, I wanted the BMW of dishwashers. I feel very blessed and hope this guy lasts us a LONG time.

6. Lil coffee counter
Our kitchen designer suggested this area for our coffee pot and I love it! It's nice to have a little space to put things down when you walk in the door and I like having all the coffee stuff away from everything else.

I am sure there are going to be things I hate about this kitchen, but so far this is awesome! I spend a lot of time in there, so I'm not missing the 1960's setup at all.

Labor and Delivery

2012-02-01T08:48:00.005-06:00

Oh, it wouldn't be a Mary Beth pregnancy without at least one pre-baby trip to the hospital, would it?
(John Michael- pre-term labor at 39 weeks)
(Noah- ER visit for chest pains at 8 weeks)

.... And, last night we had our first with H3. It all started Monday morning. I got up, took a shower, did my prayers, straightened my hair, ate breakfast, got JM up, made lunches, let the contractor in and heard Noah crying on the monitor. By the time I got to the top of the stairs to get him, I thought I was going to pass out. My heart was racing and I was short of breath. I had to sit down. I've had that feeling before and immediately took an iron pill from a previous pregnancy, but this time, I couldn't shake it, despite sitting down for a good 20 minutes after that. Getting JM to school that morning pretty much took every ounce of energy I had. I called Michael and thankfully his schedule was flexible that morning, so I could just chill for a bit.

Monday night, I started having painful contractions that didn't go away. In the middle of the night, I was guzzling water and that helped. Yesterday, they were better, but I was still getting a few every hour. Come 5:30 when we were at our lovely friends the Jowers for dinner, they started coming on every 5 minutes and were painful enough to freak me out. I'm only 30 weeks! It felt like the baby was ready to come out, so we called Uncle Peter to come over and headed over to good old labor and delivery.

Short story in a long story. They hooked me up to the monitors. They did a pre-term labor test. I was contracting the whole time, but they never got worse than they were around when I got there. They checked my cervix and it was the way it's supposed to be (whew!). Pre-term labor test came back negative, which means that it's not likely I will go into labor in the next 10-14 days.

The bad news is that I may continue to feel contractions. I'm already having them today! The triage OB told me that labor is kind of a mystery and can come on at any time, but it's good I don't have a history of early babies. I do, however, need to make a concerted effort to take it easy and to drink water. My body is really telling me to slow down. It's so hard for me to do this! I am not a homebody. 25 pound Noah is constantly wanting to be carried. It's not like I can just lay here with two toddlers and say "get your own water!" or "wipe your own bottom." Moms, if you want to see how much you are actually needed, I encourage you to try to sit on the couch and put your feet up and see how long that lasts. I know I need help and will definitely seek it out, but I also know that a lot of this is going to be a challenge for all of us, because a babysitter, Mike or family member is not going to be "me" which may or may not be acceptable to Noah and John Michael. Yes, they will get over it. Yes, I am prideful to think I am irreplaceable. :) It's going to be hard for me to let others help me. Oye, I truly hope that this period of feeling exhausted and needing to take it easy doesn't last 10 weeks until delivery! I know it's better than bedrest, but this is an interesting lesson for me to learn. I am used to being able to just go, go, go without thinking anything about it. I don't like being slow and incapacitated!

I am so grateful for my little "helpers" the past few days! Michael is just wonderful, in general. Thank you to the Jowers for dinner! Uncle Peter totally rocks for coming over in a pinch and putting on cat videos and putting to bed a JM who was totally wound up on brownies from dinner. Thank you to the Hot Chicks who prayed for me after a text SOS. And, thank you to the Academy. j/k Anyway, I'm pretty blessed!

Remodel: Day 14

2012-01-30T15:32:00.009-06:00

.... or the "Let me see your grilles" post (shout out to my boy, Nelly. "You wanna see my what?!!"). Okay, I know I've totally lost a few of you, here, like my mom. Mom, there was this song by a guy named Nelly called "Grillz" about showing off these rap guys' mouth jewelry, or diamond encrusted teethguards, aka their grill. I digress.

So I've previously mentioned that I love cabinets with glass doors, but I don't love the idea of displaying everything inside a cabinet. One night when I was looking at fancy houses (or is it houzzes?) on houzz.com, I saw this fancy kitchen that an equally fancy interior designer had done using decorative screens instead of glass. My interest was piqued. The designer was kind enough to share where she had purchased said screens and sure enough, I found the company which makes said decorative grilles in the UK and ordered some.

I feel so cosmopolitan having these screens from England in my house. And, seriously the world has gotten so much smaller because it only took two days!!! to get these puppies via FedEx, once they finally cut them (which took about 4 weeks).

Anyway, I'll show you my grilles:

To be honest, I am not sure I LOVE my grilles. One part of me thinks they are a little too dark, a little too "grandma"-y. Another part of me loves that our kitchen is so different and I kind of like the retro vibe. I like the closer shot here where you can see the detail work under the lights, but from a distance, like the first picture, they seem really dark to me. I am getting black countertops, so I hope it doesn't feel too dark in what I want to be my sunny kitchen. The good news is that the grilles are just screens, so if I get sick of them, I can put glass or something else in there.

Good news! They just called and our countertops are cut (5 days later) and they had a cancellation for tomorrow/Tuesday, so we will be that much closer to being done tomorrow. Sadly, I will have no more excuses for not cooking. After that, they put in our appliances and more importantly, get our blessed running water running again in the kitchen. This weekend, they'll do our backsplash so it really will be about 3 weeks total of work. Not bad! It's all coming together.

Kitchen: Day 10

2012-01-26T21:19:00.006-06:00

Day 10 of our kitchen remodel. The cabinets, doors and hardware are installed! I'm missing doors under my sink and at the top of the pantry, but other than that, we're getting closer!

We're just waiting on the countertops, now. They should get installed next Wed. or Thurs. Can I tell you how much I have loved working with Under Budget Kitchens on this project? They have been extremely knowledgeable and meticulous throughout the process and I do think that we'll finish out this project near our budget. They did my mom's and my neighbor's kitchen, so I knew they came well recommended.

One of my favorite features of my new cabinetry is the feet on the ends to make it seem a little more like furniture.

One of my not so favorite things about these cabinets is that they didn't perfectly fit over where my old stuff was, so stained concrete sticks out in some places. I'm not sure how we're going to fix this. Right now, my eyes are drawn to it, but maybe with the appliances, etc it will be less noticeable?

I can't wait to get our sink and appliances in! So far, I am happy with my choices!

Remodel: Day 7

2012-01-23T21:33:00.004-06:00

Remodel Day 7, also known as the day Milady decides washing the dishes in the sink is for the birds. See pizza box on counter? Yes.

Progress since last update: New cabinets installed! New paint color in kitchen! (SW Rice Grain)

Things I'm not happy about: Lots of gaps in between the ceiling and the top of the cabinets! Lots of space sticking out past the toe kicks where my old cabinets used to be. I'm hoping the cabinet people can fix all this.

Things that are good: Already love my extra storage space, especially pantry and under the bar! Love the Shaker cabinets. Love our new window. Everything is so white and new!

Brothers

2012-01-22T20:54:00.008-06:00

The past few days, the boys are playing together!
We actually had to separate them in church last night because they were being so naughty.
Remind me that 19 months is the magic number for the beginning of good sibling interaction. This weekend, we were at the lake house and I felt like if the other one was still sleeping, that John Michael or Noah seemed lonely. To this point, it's been me constantly providing the interaction for John Michael and it is NICE to be able to pass the baton onto Noah. John Michael was pushing Noah for a while on the baby swing this morning and it was so cute. Granted, JM was literally hanging off the swing and dragging his body in the dirt, but they were having so much fun and really, pushing on the swing is one of my least favorite parental duties, so yay! Yesterday I caught them sharing a bowl of oatmeal. JM was actually spooning some into Noah's mouth. He likes his instant oatmeal, so that is some love!

The bad news is that a lot of their interaction is annoying. One of their favorite jokes is when Noah says "Bella!" (as in our dog) and then JM says "I'm not Bella!" and then Noah says "Bella!" and JM again says he's not Bella. It goes on for a while and they both think it's hilarious. Ah, toddler humor.

When Noah was first born, I felt a LOT of guilt for introducing this new person into my first-born's life. I felt horrible that suddenly JM's world of being the center of attention came to a crashing halt with this new person who needed his mama (and especially her breasts!!!) 24/7.

I have such good memories of giggling with my brother on car trips on the way to see my Chicago grandparents. Now that they are a little older, I can see where having siblings is a really wonderful thing and not anything I should have felt guilty about when Noah came along. I'm going to need to remember this when the new baby comes. Noah is still such a baby that it's going to be hard for him to share his mama. But, it's going to be easier this time, I think. Although both boys will miss some of my attention for a while, at least my bigger boys will have each other.

Kind of Like Camping

2012-01-19T21:17:00.007-06:00

Well, we're still in the honeymoon phase, four days in to not having a working kitchen, so I will cautiously say that so far this remodel process isn't so bad.

In case you are wondering, my kitchen looked like this as of yesterday, Completely bare. They tore down our countertops and cabinets Monday. Since then, we got some new drywall and filled in the holes on the floor.

As far as meals have gone, it's kind of like camping, a little inconvenient, but still the comforts of home. Oh wait, y'all don't plug in your coffeepots in the wilderness? Well, I do. Okay, so this is like CAR camping. Whatev. Last weekend, we cleared out our laundry room and moved everything in there. We have a microwave, a countertop toaster that can cook a casserole or pizza and a coffee maker. We borrowed a 4-foot folding table from our neighbors and that's our work space/ coffee area. We're using our second "beer" fridge as a regular fridge and our utility closet is doubling as a pantry. One sucky thing is that we don't have a utility sink. I miss being able to do dishes in something other than a small washtub in our tiny first floor half bath. Two things making life easier for us are huge packages of plates, bowls and paper coffee cups I got from Costco. I'm sorry, earth. Another thing is the 10 casseroles I froze beforehand.

On Monday they come to install our cabinets and I believe that means we'll get our fridge and range back. After that we wait for countertops, then they hook up our sink and dishwasher and then we get our backsplash. As our house is 45 years old, we feared that we might have some unexpected "Money Pit" type surprise expenditures, but knocking on wood, so far it's been only moving a pipe a few weeks ago and some drywall repairs. So far, it doesn't seem so painful, but we'll see!

Good enough

2012-01-18T21:00:00.010-06:00

One of my favorite blogs to read is Kristin Armstrong's "Mile Markers" (see sidebar). She is such a wise person. Every time I visit her site, I come away with inspiration and good insight. When I heard that they were doing a study at my church over one of her books, I was thrilled and immediately signed up. We are reading "Work in Progress: an Unfinished Woman's Guide to Grace."

Tonight's discussion was about confidence. Kristin's words, again, were so en pointe, as confidence is something that I'm still working on at 35 and I'm sure many of you struggle with, as well. Growing up, I somehow came upon the notion that if I didn't succeed in all that I did (get good grades, serve others, and be generally "PERFECT" at everything I set out to do), that I was a failure. As I've gotten older, God has granted me a few lessons about this. One of which was the gigantic knock to my pride that I got when I found out that I was pregnant and happened to be unmarried at 26. Holy imperfect! But, on a more everyday level, I think of how am constantly comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate. I don't know why, but this is especially true for me in situations of 1. Work and 2. Motherhood. I always felt jealous of other people's gifts. I used to work with this girl who was an excellent problem-solver. She'd come in and hear about something going on and bam! would come up with direction and a solution, whereas I would be sitting there scratching my head. She was also very social and quite obviously the "popular" one in our office. I can be quite shy and awkward in social situations, so I spent years feeling inadequate in her presence. I've also been known to beat myself up when my sweet friend continually remembers to send me a birthday card on my birthday and I never remember hers. The parenthood thing is a total blow to the pride. I know that I am molding these children's lives and I have these exceedingly high standards for myself that I am never meeting. Leave it to a three year-old to put you in your place! The self-loathing can go on and on.

The funny thing is, all this desiring of constant perfection is a sin of pride. I pridefully expect myself to be perfect all the time, which is the silliest standard because absolutely no one is perfect. It is impossible to be everything and everywhere at once. And, you know what? God has given us all different gifts. To be honest, I am a lousy bookkeeper. Math is not my strong suit. I am also not very detail-oriented. I am physically the most inflexible person you ever met. If you saw me at a yoga class, you would die laughing because I cannot do the down dog to save my life. There are a million things that I am terrible at.

Trying to achieve perfection in every little thing is exhausting. Kristin asserts that that energy you use in trying so hard to be perfect is wasted on the talent that you are good at. Up until this point I have been what she calls a striver. "Strivers are people who endlessly struggle for perfection and end up with far less than good enough.... Good enough means being able to accept who and where we are with grace and gratitude and being content with ourselves as works in progress. Being good enough ensures possessing enough humility that God is pleased." Ah, that there is some good stuff. I want to burn that in my brain! Here is the rub. God is the only one who is truly perfect. God loves us even though we are who we are. God doesn't care that I can't balance my checkbook. God doesn't care if I am terribly awkward in some social situations or can't come up with a solution to a problem on the fly. God doesn't care if my heels don't touch the floor at yoga or that I sometimes forget to send a birthday card. You know what? There are a lot of things that I am good at. What do you get that "full" passionate feeling doing? I love being resourceful to people. I love planning events. I love the feeling I get when I make a meal for my family. I love writing my feelings out in this blog.

Do you know something, blogreader? Whether or not you can balance your checkbook, are social butterfly or socially challenged, whether you can saute vegetables with flair or burn up a frozen pizza, whether you are a birthmom or a nun, whether you are an A-student or getting by with Cs, YOU ARE WORTHY. You and you alone are the only you in this whole world and you are wonderfully made. God knit us together in our mothers' wombs (Psalm 139). All of us need to be told time and time again how worthy we are. We are worthy! No matter what! What is it going to take for you to accept "good enough?" Kristin asserts that until we can finally admit to God that we are not enough, not perfect and never had a chance to be, "can we finally exhale and start the arduous, dignified task of learning how to be good enough."

More than anything, I want my kids to grow up happy, knowing that no matter what they do, or who they are, they are a gift to this world. One could be a hairdresser. One could be a lawyer. Quite frankly, it's looking like at least one will work in construction. :) That is okay. They are worthy. Just like you. Just like me. I pray that I can impart this in them.

Have you accepted good enough from yourself and maybe from your children? This is my work in progress! Amen!

Oh you crazy sugars, you

2012-01-11T20:27:00.005-06:00

Boo to you, Christmas sweets!
Boo to you, Lucky Charms!
Boo to you, afternoon bon bons!

Y'all, today I failed my 27 week one-hour glucose test. I had a weird feeling this was going to happen. Looking on the bright side, it could be worse. I only "just failed it" by a few points and my three other babies haven't been 9 pounders, so kind Dr. S. is taking pity on me and not making me take the dreaded 3-hour test. The bad news is that I do have to fast and retest at my next appointment and worse, I have to follow the "gestational diabetes" diet until then.

I had a feeling that this might happen, because this pregnancy I cannot get enough sweets. I love me some good white flour and sugar! I've already gained what I gained total in my first pregnancy at 28 weeks. My butt is bigger and I'm on track to gain 40 pounds. This little hiccup is probably the wake-up call that I need to exercise more and cut out the Nutella toast. Ah, you know what, I'm honestly too tired to care right now. I've been running ragged the past two days, driving all over town doing important things like getting my hair done and going to Bible Study and oh yeah, using about 100 Kleenexes trying to keep my boys from having walrus noses the past 48 hours they've both had ucky colds. Parenting two small children while growing one inside is wearing me out. So, I am going to try my best to be good the next few weeks. Tonight we had salmon, sweet potatoes and salad for dinner. But, as this very well may be my last pregnancy, I'm also going to have an "occasional" cookie. :) Hopefully they'll give me the green light to go back to my nightly bowl of ice cream in three weeks. That's what pregnancy is all about, right?

The babe looks great. I can never remember when they are going to do an ultrasound, so I was happy to get one today and see the babe's sweet little body swimming around in there. Dr. S. loves to circle that boy part with his little pointer. He's still a boy!

Mr. Big

2012-01-04T21:31:00.005-06:00

John Michael had a growth spurt recently and suddenly is wearing 4T clothes. I don't know what it is, but 4T seems like a huge milestone. My neighbor was commenting yesterday that she thinks he's lost some of the baby fat in his face and I almost started crying, because she is right. He is big. Here is Mr. 4T. He put this outfit together, by the way. Long sleeved grey undershirt, burgundy striped rugby and orange vest. I'd have never put orange and burgundy together, but I kind of like it. That boy is so picky about his clothes! Oye! We are never giving Noah choices. Sorry, Noah. Your brother is the dictator on clothes and it's not pretty. Anyway, JM at 3.5:

And, speaking of big, Michael got Noah this flannel shirt from Old Navy on a whim and whereas it's super cute, it makes him look way too old, as well. Wah! My babies are growing up. Noah at 18 months:

Playing house

2012-01-04T21:15:00.005-06:00

Michael spent I'd say 4-6 hours putting this playhouse together over his Christmas break. It came with about 1000 screws. I was totally impressed with my CPA-husband's carpenter skills. The house is adorable. It was our gift to the boys for Christmas. It has a working doorbell, a little bench and window for serving or puppet shows. Thanks to Michael's dad's sentimentality, we were lucky enough to get a little kitchen range full of 1970s play food and dinnerware that his sister Cheryl (now 40) played with as a girl and we even installed a real phone on the wall, with a long cord, thanks also to my in-laws.

It's been really fun watching the neighbor kids play in our playhouse over Christmas break. This morning the weather was gorgeous, and our little kindergarten neighbor called over the fence. As I made lunch, I had the windows open and could hear she, JM and Noah having a ball out there. They really like to play house in the playhouse. Noah, obvi, is the baby. And, they even have a family dog, Bella. Bella really likes to be in that house, for some reason. At one point today, we had 4 kids and Bella in the house, which is only 5x5!

Anyway, for people who were strongly considering moving last summer because we wanted more of a "neighborhood vibe," things have really changed for us. Because of the addition of two neighbors with little ones and also figuring out that JM plays really well with aforementioned Amelia next door, I couldn't be happier! We are definitely not moving anytime soon. It's fun to have the party backyard with our new little house.

So the kitchen project begins

2011-12-27T20:28:00.014-06:00

At 7:30 and not one minute after, our contractor showed up to start our kitchen project.
Just like he told me he was going to. But somehow like a complete idiot, I assumed that my kids were going to wake up in the 5/6am hour like they have been the past 2 weeks and after going out with my Chicago cousins last night, past my normal bedtime, very unwisely did not set an alarm...

Hence, at 7:31 when Michael got back from his run and had to let these guys in, everyone was nestled all snug in their beds, no one had sippy cups of milk nor breakfast, nor makeup (me) and oh, that's right, I thought the guys were going to start outside, but they actually wanted to bust into a wall in my kitchen, first, therefore creating the need to get everything off my counters and off the fridge pronto.

So, this morning at 7:32, the Mr. and I were running around like crazy people trying to move stuff. JM and I were eating Nutrigrain bars for breakfast, since they unplugged our fridge and at 7:34 taped off the kitchen to contain the dust. At 7:40, the front door was slamming with people going in and out and power tools were hitting drywall. Holy shite! Ready or not. We are starting this thing!

In case I haven't mentioned it, last summer after putting together architectural plans for my dream kitchen and getting some preliminary bids that made our eyes pop out of our heads, we started househunting in a lot of other Austin neighborhoods. Ultimately we decided we didn't want to leave our big trees and old house for parks and pools and "new", but also didn't want to spend our whole remodel budget on just the kitchen. Hence, we're staying, doing the kitchen on the "cheap" (not knocking down walls) and plan to add more square footage elsewhere somewhere down the road the next few years.

Lesson learned this morning was that I need to communicate clearly with these guys exactly what the agenda is for the upcoming day/week so we're not caught with our pants down, again. We are staying here when they are doing their work, so I need to be in sync with what's going on. Sorry, Michael, about this morning. Ah, always an adventure being married to me!

If you are interested, we are keeping the current footprint of our kitchen, so as to keep costs low(er) and to not have to lose our brick flooring. Here is the plan, before and after:

Range wall now

After: Lose electric cooktop, add 30" gas range, add lazy susan corner. Add drawers to lower cab space instead of cabinets. Add apron sink. Add new kitchen window. Extend upper cabs to ceiling and add glass front ones flanking sink (I'm actually doing screens instead of glass so you won't see all my disorganization). Lose heinous 1960s laminate/wood counters. Add black quartz counters. Add new white Shaker-style cabs. Widen breakfast bar and add under-counter storage.

Fridge wall now

Fridge wall after. Lose double oven. Move microwave. Move fridge to where oven/mic are. Move pantry to where fridge is and add 16" height. Add small counter, upper cabs and lower drawers to current pantry space.

Microwave wall now

After: add pull-out trash/recycle. Seriously, that's all I care about on this wall.

We are doing some preliminary work now, but they aren't really cutting me off until Jan. 16 when I will hopefully only be without a kitchen with a 3 year-old and a 1 year-old for 3 weeks, like they said. I'm hopeful. This is fun. I ordered my apron sink and new faucet tonight!

Christmas Joy 2011

2011-12-25T11:03:00.008-06:00

It was a trampoline and truck Christmas at our house.

Damn Art for introducing us/John Michael to the Bruder brand a few years ago. They really are the best trucks. Well-made and with realistic parts. Each boy got one. I'd rather have a big gift that they'll play with for years than a bunch of little stuff. Hopefully that trampoline will burn some serious boy-energy come summertime.

We are on hours of serious playing, now, and it makes me so happy.

Merry Christmas! The boys were very confused when we tried to sing Happy Birthday to baby Jesus this morning. We tried, but all this Santa and Jesus stuff is a lot to take in.

Hope you are happy and filled with Christmas love and cheer (yes, by cheer I mean both joy and if you are able, cocktails). Have one for me!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-23T21:17:00.004-06:00

Love this interview with John Michael about Christmas, dancing and general cuteness from he and Noah.
I guess Santa needs to make a last-minute run to Target to get something for H3... How thoughtful of JM to think that the new baby should also get a gift. Doh!

Anyway, sorry for the lack of blog updates. We spent the early part of the week in Dallas celebrating Christmas with my in-laws and our cousins and since then, have been all up in meeting with contractors and ordering stuff for our January remodel and Christmas baking and wrapping round here. I can't believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve! It snuck up on me! PF Changs and Mass in our new church!!!! (an 8-year undertaking!!!!) here we come...

Perfect, perfect lil H3

2011-12-16T15:31:00.009-06:00

We got to see our new little baby today! Those 3D ultrasound machines are pretty cool. I could have watched the bugger all day. He looks great and so babylike, already, at 24 weeks. The ultrasound tech said he looks a lot more filled out than a lot of the 24 weekers she sees. I said that probably had something to do with the heavy intake of Christmas cookies from his mama. It hit me like a ton of bricks that in 3 short weeks, I'll be in the 3rd trimester!!! He's coming in 16 weeks! Oh, no! I'm glad we humans don't have the short gestational period like the chipmunk or squirrel whose babies come in 30 days, or the poor domestic mouse who has only 19 days to prepare her little mouse nest! In the next 16 weeks, we have a lot on our plates, specifically rehabbing our whole kitchen in January! Stay in there, out of the dust, little one! Seeing this little one that looks so much like a baby scares me a lot. I'm still not sure how I'm going to handle three such needy beings. God grant me strength! And, nannies! And, willing family members to help!

Look at this handsome (and sleepy!) babe...

Noah at 18 months

2011-12-12T20:36:00.007-06:00

Oh, em, GEE! My baby is turning 18 months tomorrow! Which is kind of good, because I have a new baby coming in April, but kind of sad, because he is getting more and more grown up every day.

I am going to start off by probably damning myself. Noah from ages 12 months to about 17 months was.not.fun. He cried all.the.time. Seriously, y'all. I was about at the end of my wit with him. Yes, my nerves during that time? Completely frayed. I probably would have blogged about it, but I was too busy trying to get Noah to stop crying. I took him to the doctor. I put a pacifier in. I stood behind him when he rifled through my pantry pulling out multiple items trying to make him happy. John Michael and I would sing incessant songs to him driving in the car (where he was most unhappy). I turned his carseat forward-facing because I thought he was getting carsick. Nothing worked.

Don't be frightened, moms of 12 month-olds. JM had a difficult period around 15 months, but it was nothing like this. All kids are different, so your child may be fine, but my expressive Noah was an unhappy boy. Teeth may have played a part, as he got his molars and quite a few others, but I honestly think that being unable to communicate with us was the main thing. He would stand in front of the pantry and it was like he didn't know what he wanted. Drove me crazy! I am a pleaser and I wanted to please him! Granted, I am a pleaser within reason. I don't let my kids have whatever they want, but there is only so much crying that one can hear before you start getting desperate. At times, I gave him candy and he threw it on the floor. I gave him cookies and that didn't work, either. He actually spit out ice cream, on occasion. What in heavenly hooks was going on with this child? I blessed him with holy water, because for a time, I was worried that he was possessed! Who spits out ice cream? Aye yi yi! And, seriously, this phase happened when I was pregnant. It was terrifying to picture having a newborn baby (who if I recall correctly is no picnic with the sleep deprivation), a constantly crying almost 2 year old Noah and John Michael, who is sweet, but has his own issues, mainly like needing a lot of attention!!!

Thank the heavens, the past 6 weeks or so have been A BLESSED BLESSED CHANGE! Noah all of a sudden started cranking out new words every day. And, do you know what? He has been Mr. Sunshine!!! Mr. Easygoing!!! It's like a totally different kid. I swear his language has turned everything around. I'm back to enjoying being around him, rather than singing "it's only a phase... it's only a phase" in my head to keep from throwing myself in front of a bus.

One of my favorite things that he does is nod his head "yes" or "no." This is extremely helpful. The man knows what he wants. If you ask him if he's hungry, he'll sign "eat", go get out a plastic bowl from the drawer or stand by his high chair and say "up." He says milk, wa wa or juice if he's thirsty! It brightens my day when he comes up to me with a smile and says "dis!" if he needs helps with something, or says"nanny" for banana, "ice" with a lisp, "hi" when he walks into a room, "neigh" for a horse and "lights" for any Christmas tree lit or unlit. He loves to push things in the doll stroller, the most amusing being things you wouldn't think would be pushed, like a TV remote. He is still a pretty great sleeper, sleeping in past 7:30 on many days and taking a good 2-3 hour nap every afternoon. He loves to wave bye-bye to people when we leave places. The other week we walked down South Congress and he walked up to people in restaurant windows, waving to all and making people smile. Such a little flirt. He also loves to snuggle. This morning I asked him for a hug and he actually came up and put his head on my shoulder. Sigh!

Now despite all this wonderfulness, this child does have a few flaws. He has a really hot temper. If he gets mad, he will totally throw a toy across the room. He LOVES to throw food at dinner. When he is done eating, he is DONE. If we let him in the high chair even a second past when he is done, which sometimes is pretty quick!, we all risk getting hit in the head with a broccoli. He still has his nukkie, but we have pretty much curbed it to bedtime and hope to have weaned him completely by Baby H3's arrival. He refuses to hold your hand in a parking lot, so still needs to be held (hoping this goes away by April!). He also does not respect us if we say "no no" and actually thinks it's funny when he does something that elicits that response. Stinker! He also still does not watch TV. My kids really don't watch much TV compared to the US average and we don't have an Ipad or other media that they can use (late adapters), so I feel totally comfortable saying I wish my kid would watch TV!!! Sometimes mama needs to take a shower! He'll watch Elmo for about 30 seconds, but that's it.

Anyway, Noah, we love you, bunches. You have a funny personality and the warmest smile.

You like to make yourself comfortable in all places, in this case on Uncle Joe and Aunt Pam's bar stools.

You like to snuggle with your non-snuggling brother and crowd his space

You make your cousins laugh because you really like to lay in the grass. Not roll around, but just lay and look up at the sky.

We love you, Noah Charles!

Mint Chocolate Bark

2011-12-11T20:46:00.008-06:00

Who doesn't like bark? I do. For some reason, this pregnancy, I love me some chocolate. This recipe totally is one of the reasons I'm dreading my 24 week appointment this week. Remember how I didn't gain anything at 20 weeks? This time, I am quite sure I've made up for it. I've been nesting big time (seriously, I've bookmarked about 100 home decor ideas) and with the cold weather staying home and baking every day, adding quite the layer of padding for the winter season. If they tell me I've gained 8 lbs since 20 weeks at the doctor, I won't be shocked.

This bark tastes like Girl Scouts Thin Mints cookies and is SOOOO easy to make. The original recipe calls to make this using a double boiler, but I don't have one, so I cheated and used my microwave to melt the chocolate(gasp!). It's easy to burn chocolate in the microwave, but keep an eye on it, stir often and you'll be okay. Another good find from Pinterest!

Mint Chocolate Chip Bark

From Bakersroyale.com

Makes one 8×8 pan | Preparation: Line pan with wax paper and spray lightly with Pam

14-18 Andes Mints, chopped (or they sell bags of chopped Andes this Christmas at our HEB)
5 oz dark chocolate
8-10 Nabisco chocolate wafers (found in the cookie aisle- big yellow box looks like this)
7 oz. white chocolate and 1-2 drops of green food color (dip toothpick in food color)
or 7 oz mint chocolate chips (what I did)
optional: 1/4 tsp peppermint extract

Instructions:

Chop Andes Mint Candy and set aside.
Place dark chocolate in a heat proof bowl and microwave for 1 minute. Stir. If not melted completely, microwave for 1 more minute until smooth. Pour melted chocolate into 8×8 pans. Using an offset icing spatula smooth out chocolate until an even layer is achieved. Place chocolate wafers on top and gently press it into the chocolate. Place pan in refrigerator for 5 minutes for chocolate to become slightly harden.
Place white chocolate or mint chocolate chips in a heat proof bowl. My mint chips melted after a minute. If using white chocolate, dip toothpick or skewer in green food coloring and then dip it into the white chocolate; stir to combine.
Remove pan with chilled dark layer and pour melted white chocolate on top. Using an offset icing spatula smooth out chocolate until an even layer is achieved. Sprinkle chopped Andes Mint Candy on top and return the fully assembled bark to the refrigerator for about 10-15 minutes or until bark is fully set.
Slice into smaller pieces (this stuff is rich!) and serve!

Notes:

If you use regular white chocolate, but would prefer of a more minty taste (like I do), add 1/4 tsp of peppermint extract. Don't do this if you use the mint chips. :)

Santa 2011

2011-12-10T20:08:00.005-06:00

We went to Breakfast with Santa this morning at church. Both boys were indifferent about seeing Santa. I tried to get JM to tell Santa what he wanted, but he was suffering from a severe case of sensory overload. Noah wasn't scared or excited, simply just looked around. There were a lot of candy canes, a lot of photographers (self-included), and a lot of people around. I love that our church hosts this. It's so fun to see the kids we know from church all seeing Santa together. For some reason, we've missed it the past two years, but managed to get the date on the calendar this year. Alan Graham from Mobile Loaves and Fishes is the best Santa. He has both a good beard and a non-vest costume, which I like more than than some of the mall Santas. In the north, where I grew up, Santa never wore a vest, but a full-fledged fur costume (I realize this isn't very practical in Texas, but I'm a traditionalist).

Both boys gladly ate a candy cane at 9:30am. Both boys also indulged in breakfast tacos. In fact, I would bet that if you ask JM what he remembers about seeing Santa this morning, it would be that he ate sausage breakfast tacos. Bubba ate two tacos and asked for a third!!! Holy growth spurt! We told him two was good. Santa= done for 2011. I'm glad to get some mileage out of their little Christmas outfits.

Family pics 2011

2011-12-06T22:27:00.010-06:00

We did a mini-session with Jessica Otwell for our Christmas card pictures this year.
She is a friend of a friend and "friended" me on Facebook after I met her at our mutual friend's bachelorette party last year. How many times can I say friend in one sentence? Friendedy friend friend friendy McFriendster, friends. I have been admiring her photography on FB ever since. When I saw that she was doing holiday mini-sessions, I was so happy!

I could not be more pleased with the outcome of our shoot. Who knew that 30 minutes could get such great stuff?!!! Sometimes a family picture brings out the worst in me, worrying about everyone looking happy and seriously, trying to keep everyone clean! Oh, and now, everyone look like we love each other even though Mama is making you wear uncomfortable clothes and acting stressed! Right?!! For this one, we were all pretty chill and I think it showed. I love the natural feel to these. And, I love those boys!

Chestnuts roasting

2011-12-06T21:41:00.005-06:00

We wrote letters to Santa, made sugar cookies and put up our Christmas tree today.
I'm not sure if it was JM's only nap in 5 days (grr, but hurray!), cabin fever (it's been rainy and cold since Friday), a sugar buzz or the spirit of the season, but he was SO excited tonight. He did spins to the Christmas music playing on Slacker Radio Classic Holiday (which rules). He helped us put ornaments on the tree. He pretended to be a cat and clawed at us (hilarious!). I said "no" when he first asked if he could bring down this yellow chair from his room. When he said that the reason he wanted it was to sit and watch the tree, my heart melted.

One of my favorite memories from childhood is laying underneath our Christmas tree with all the old school big colored bulbs aglow. When I hear Nat King Cole's "Christmas Song" I think about this. That song was on our family Christmas record and it simply is Christmas to me. It is trite, but there is something magical in being a child at Christmas. I miss my dad so much this time of year. I can't believe it's been 10 years since he's been gone. I can't hear "Holly Jolly Christmas" or any Nat King Cole without getting sad about my dad. Being pregnant, I am especially emotional this year, read: blubbering mess when I heard Nat King Cole this afternoon.

Anyway, watching JM get so into Christmas tonight totally rocked. This is the good stuff. Noah is excited, too. We'll see what happens tomorrow when he awakens to see the tree with all those sparkly decorations. Eeek!

20 weeks

2011-11-29T21:53:00.008-06:00

Looking at this picture, I think a few things. One, my belly has gotten ginormous since 16 weeks. Two, I'm so mad at myself for being unable to remember which way to turn for these pictures. Three, I look way more refreshed at 7:30am when this picture was taken than at the end of the day (see 16 week picture when I look ready to fall over).

So yes, 20 weeks. I am actually 21 weeks in this picture, because it is impossible for me to take a picture during the week I am supposed to, apparently. As I write this, I am almost 22 weeks. Y'all, I am having a hard time keeping it together, lately. The good news is that the baby is doing great. I had a very easy 20 week nurse visit. It was less than 10 minutes long. Good vitals for me. Good vitals for baby. I gained one pound (which is not good for my mental state- I've been gaining fine, but to my psyche that lack of weight gain was like a green light for "bring on the pie!" which can't be good). I digress. No health questions. No issues. The visit was boring and I like it. The baby is moving around a lot these days and it's to the point where Michael can feel it externally.

The bad news is that since then, I feel pregnant. This weekend, I threw my back out carrying a 36 pound JM to time out and also managed to get dehydrated enough to start some scary Braxton Hicks contractions. The contractions combined with the back pain freaked me out enough to call the Nurseline at my OB (goodbye, boring!) and they told me to drink more water and take it easy. Ha ha! Do you know how many times a day I have to pick up my 25 pound Noah? Take it easy? Noah is still at that phase where he needs to be carried in a parking lot. Not to mention that he has a tooth or 5 coming in, has been sick and wants to be held all day long these past few days. Does take it easy include making a box of macaroni and cheese with a baby on your hip?

The BH contractions scared me enough to try to take heed of the nurse's advice to slow down. How hard is it to slow down at this time of year? I don't know about you, but I have a gazillion things on my "To-Do" list. And, I don't know if you moms work or stay home, or have help beyond your husbands, but for me, if I want to go to the grocery store or Target or the mall, I usually have to bring my kids, which even though they are pretty well-behaved as toddlers can be, totally wears me out.

As I write this, I'm already feeling overwhelmed about Christmas and specifically about making Christmas meaningful for my boys, my upcoming kitchen remodel in January (we signed the papers last week- yay!) and life, in general. Today I tried to cram in a Target run and a Nordstrom Rack run with the boys in the morning, two loads of laundry, then after nap a trip to the library and then HEB, as we didn't have any food from Thanksgiving traveling.

How to slow down? We need food. We need toilet paper. We need/want to buy gifts for the Angel Tree at church and darn Target didn't have size 5.5 shoes, so I had to go to another store to see if I could get them... Our books were overdue at the library (typical) and on and on. I guess it's a matter of constantly evaluating what's important. What's really important to me is my family and showing the boys what Christmas is really all about. This is where God comes in. I need to slow and to focus. God, first. Me, next. Michael, next. The boys, next. All the other stuff, next. God, help me to do this this Advent! I really want to make Christmas cookies and send Christmas cards, but that stuff may have to hit the back burner. I may not make it to the gym like I want to, but I'm giving myself permission for that to be okay. The "most wonderful time of the year" is supposed to be about you, Lord and not about me putting pressure on myself for things to all be done. If I have a crib mattress in my entryway for a week or let my kids watch 10 more minutes of TV than they usually do to save my sanity, so be it! Help me to slow down!

Carnival O' Pizza

2011-11-19T19:18:00.007-06:00

Today was a big "downtown" day for us. This morning, I took the boys to Will F's super fun birthday party at one of our favorite places, The Austin Children's Museum. After naps, we headed down to South Congress where Home Slice Pizza was having a Carnival O' Pizza. What is a Carnival O' Pizza? Well, there was lots of pizza eating, music, kids activities and games. It had kind of a New York street fair vibe, with a kind of Austin coolness to it. There were lots of dogs, hipsters and happy families. I'm so glad we went. I love Home Slice pizza. It is pretty close to a New York slice, if you ask me.

Anyway, between the birthday party, the pizza and carnival and stop at Amy's Ice Cream, this mama is wiped out. I can't imagine how the boys feel. It was a good day to live in Austin, Texas. I'm glad we didn't move to Steiner Ranch! I'd imagine we wouldn't go downtown as much if we had to drive 30 minutes (or more) to get there.

Eating some dinner

The boys get VERY wet in the duck pond

John Michael shares my root beer that looks a lot like a real beer

Daddy love

Someone's drawing of Hall and Oates in Home Slice. Love.

Craft Night

2011-11-18T20:39:00.006-06:00

I am not a crafter.
But, my friend Karyn is. Somehow, a few weeks ago, it was suggested that instead of our monthly mom's night out drinking margaritas or the like we have a craft night at Karyn's.
We found some cute ideas on Pinterest and decided that we wanted to make this Christmas tree.
Oye, one trip to Hobby Lobby, 300 felt circles (and blisters from cutting them out) and one fun night later, may I present our trees?:

And, me with my finished project on the hearth. Since I am feeling very domestic diva with this craft thing, I will call it a hearth...

Cutting out 300 2-inch circles was no big deal for Karyn, but for me (and possibly some of the other ladies), I bitched and moaned and complained for a few nights this week. I laughed to myself because this was quite the ambitious project for our first craft night! However, getting there and chatting and putting it all together was really fun. I felt like we were channeling the quilting bee of yore. Am I nesting or what with all this hearth and yore talk? Or, maybe I am a dork. I digress. I am not sure if this tree is going to be the family heirloom I had hoped for, but I like it! I don't see a craft room in my immediate future, but I hope we do this again, soon!

Mongolian Beef Like PF Changs

2011-11-10T07:33:00.003-06:00

Oh, em, gee, I love Pinterest! Do you pin? It's like the greatest thing since sliced bread. (P.S. Is slicing bread really that hard?) Pinterest is a virtual idea board. You can share ideas with people and see things they like, as well for all sorts of stuff. I love pinning recipes. This was delicious. I love PF Changs Mongolian Beef and this was a good knock-off. Best was that other than the meat, I had all ingredients on hand. Even JM gobbled it up! If it passes the toddler test, it's added to our menu rotation!

Source: Favfamilyrecipes.com

Mongolian Beef Like PF Changs
4 tsp. vegetable oil
2 tsp. ginger, minced (I have a tube of ginger from HEB produce dept. and used instead of fresh)
2 Tbsp. garlic, minced
1 c. soy sauce
1 c. water
1 c. brown sugar (packed)
2 c. vegetable oil
2 Lb. flank steaks
½ c. cornstarch
3 large green onions

Make the sauce by heating 4 tsp. vegetable oil in a medium saucepan over medium/low heat. Don’t get the oil too hot. Add ginger and garlic to the pan and quickly add the soy sauce and water before the garlic scorches. Dissolve the brown sugar in the sauce, then raise the heat to medium and boil the sauce 2-3 minutes or until sauce thickens a little bit. Remove sauce from heat.

Slice the flank steak against the grain into 1/4 inch slices. Tilt the blade of your knife at about a 45 degree angle to the top of the steak so you get wider cuts. Dip the steak pieces into cornstarch to apply a very thin dusting to both sides of each piece of beef. Let the beef sit about 10 min. so the cornstarch sticks. As the beef sits, heat up 1 c. oil in a wok (or skillet). Heat the oil over medium heat until its hot, but not smoking. Add the beef to the oil and saute for just 2 minutes, or until beef just begins to darken on the edges. Stir the meat around a little bit so that it cooks evenly.

After a few minutes, use a large slotted spoon to take the meat out and onto paper towels, then pour most of the oil out of the skillet. Put the pan back over the heat, dump the meat back into it and stir-fry for 1 minute. Add the sauce, cook for 1 minute while stirring and add green onions. Cook for 1 more minute. Now at this point you can either remove the beef with a slotted spoon or tongs and discard the sauce (this is what P.F. Chang's does) OR thicken the sauce with a cornstarch-water mixture to desired thickness and serve it over rice with the beef.

We served ours with lots of sauce and a bag of Mann's California Stir-Fry carrots, snow peas and broccoli that I stir-fried. Mmmm!

Prideful post

2011-11-10T06:32:00.006-06:00

Yesterday when I was picking up John Michael from school, the aide in his classroom told me that every week when she works on Wednesdays, JM asks her "did you miss me?" I told her I couldn't believe he was such a flirt. Seriously, the boy is all about trucks, trucks, trucks. With which, his teacher who was standing next to her responded that John Michael is SO sweet and that they are big fans. She said it in a way that made me feel like she really meant it. Lately, JM is acting super emotional and doing a lot of limits-testing with me, so it's good to hear that his sweet side is sticking out at school. I am so proud of him. He is being really sweet at home, though, too. Yesterday morning when I went in his room to get him, the first thing he said was that he wanted to whisper a secret in my ear and then whispered, "I love you!" Heart. Melted!

I was painfully shy as a child and don't think I was ever really verbally or physically affectionate. When Mike and I were dating and I first met my twin nieces, they were 2 years-old and just the sweetest little lovers you ever met (and at 8 years-old, they still are!). It's so easy to love a child who is loving! I decided then, that I wanted to try to teach my kids to hug, to say "I love you" and prayed that would have giving-type personalities. I am sure that a lot of JM's behavior is a nature versus nurture thing. He probably got the genes from Mike's side! Ha ha Anyway, I am so thankful for the sweetness of both my boys and pray that John Michael and Noah continue to be pure of heart for a long, long time!

Exercise

2011-11-08T20:51:00.010-06:00

I am proud to say that I did two things today that are easy for me to skip when I am tired.

1. This evening I went and Zumbaed my little pregnant booty off. I have worked out through all four of my pregnancies and I really believe that it helps with labor. Not only that, but it is good for my mind. And, because when I am pregnant, I like to well, say eat my children's Halloween candy in the afternoon, or please excuse me for a moment while I dust my orange fingers off from the Cheetos I am eating right now... Where was I? Ah yes, it's good for the body, too. Now, down, Judgy McJudgertons! I ain't the kind of mama that is going to run two marathons during my pregnancy and give birth at mile 25 like that lady in the Chicago Marathon (can you imagine!??). I am lucky if I make it to the gym twice a week these days and I am very very conscious about taking it easy. My OB has okayed my routine and I keep my heart rate low. And, yes, I know that Zumba is a high-impact class. Here is the deal. I love me some Zumba. It takes my love of urban music and the booty shake and combines it with latin music. It is a class I enjoy attending and makes the whole "going to the gym" experience so much less painful for me. It's fun! So when I am pregnant, I do a VERY low impact version of it (no jumping, keep shaking to a minimum) and usually don't stay for the whole class. To save money, I just quit the gym I've been going to for years and joined a national gym chain. I will say that there is a heck of a lot more of the booty shake going on at Zumba at this gym! Last week I went and we did a number to "I'm Sexy and I Know It" that involved quite a bit of what I call the "booty circle." I know I looked completely redonk 17 weeks pregnant attempting to do this, and may have offended a few of the non-pregnant people in my class :), I mean who wants to see a visibly pregnant woman doing what is supposed to be a sexy move, but hey, it's all fun.

2. This morning I arose in the 5am hour and PRAYED. Yes, I know you just read about me doing "booty circles," so you weren't expecting this. I've been doing a mom's Bible study at my church for a few months now and I love it. The message has been getting under my skin, so as suggested by the book we're reading, this morning for the first time I rose before my kids and spent 30 minutes alone with the Word. Truth is, I've been in a major rut with my prayer routine for eh, probably a few years now. I usually leave it until nighttime and well, let's just say I have good intentions, but the second my head hits the pillow, it's off to nigh nigh land. I really want to make this a routine, interweb. It felt good to start the day in the right way and have a rosary prayed and under my belt at 6:15 this morning, which kind of gave me the same feeling I get when I walk out of the gym, that relief and feeling of pride for doing something that's not always fun/easy. Today in the bottom of my purse I found a novena for rain, so I know that will inspire me to do this for at least 8 more days. I hope it sticks! God should be the most important thing in my life and I want to make this, as it should be, my number one priority.

Anyway, twas a banner day for me both mentally and physically. I'm hoping for many more repeats on the gym and especially the prayer! Both of my kids are sleeping pretty good these days, so I feel like I have no excuse for a few months, anyway.

It's so hard to fit it all in! Moms, I'd love to hear your suggestions about how you keep your mind and body healthy parenting young children. It's a constant struggle for me! As you can see, for me it means getting up early and staying up late, which is not always fun, but I need to remember that it's worth it! When Mama's happy, everybody's happy!

Margaritas

2011-11-04T10:41:00.004-05:00

One of our favorite indoor activities around here has always been "coffee shop."
A close friend of mine who is a mother of three who lives in Iowa where they have long winters recommended creating a sensory type bin to keep the boys happy in the summertime. For me, that meant getting a huge bag of pinto beans from HEB, emptying it into a plastic Rubbermaid bin and adding all sorts of measuring cups, plates and bowls, etc. I get it out when I need to cook something and I don't want anyone pulling at my literal apron strings. Noah will play in there for 20 minutes. Since he doesn't watch TV, I love the coffee shop!

Anyway, to mix things up a bit, the other week, we dumped out the sand from our sand and water table and moved the beans in there. On our back porch the clean up of all the beans that inevitably spill over the side doesn't bother me as much. John Michael has taken to naming this coffee shop "Margaritas." Don't get me wrong, I love a good margarita, but I don't talk about them that often. I think it's hilarious that that's the name he pulled out of his little memory bank. He doesn't serve actual margaritas at the coffee shop, just coffee with cream and sugar.

Do you have a sensory area for your kids? You could fill a bin with popcorn or any type of beans. Get some shovels or scoops and get creative with the things they could fill up in there. We like filling my espresso-maker coffee pot and plastic cups, but at JM's school I've seen them fill up empty honey bears and empty plastic water bottles, too. Preschool teachers have the best ideas! Anyway, this idea is probably not for the Type-A neat freak. Beans or popcorn will get on your floor, but to me that's worth 20 minutes of peaceful cooking time!

My little Midwesterner

2011-11-03T20:44:00.005-05:00

I noticed the other week that my Texas-born John Michael said something with a distinctly Midwestern accent. I wanted so badly to point it out to Mike when I was running down the highs and lows of our day, but couldn't remember what it was. The other day JM said it, again. Ah, yes. Banana. He says it like "ba-nai-hna." Since then, I've noticed that he also says mechanic, sandbox and pajamas with that long A sound. I don't think I have much of an accent; Iowans generally speak without one, but, apparently I have enough of one to influence my oldest child. I don't hear it in myself, but am especially sensitive to it living in Texas. I guess it's me with that nasal tone. Mike grew up in Dallas.

It's so weird that my boys are Texans. Growing up, I thought Texas was all snakes and tumbleweeds and cowboys, so it's funny to me sometimes that I live here. Obvi, now that I live here, I know that it's not all that stereotypical way, but there are some things that are really Texas-y about Texas: pick-up trucks, boots and cowboy hats, the occasional Wrangler or big belt sighting, etc. I have not heard JM say "y'all" yet, but that will really seal the deal.

Frick and Frack

2011-11-02T19:54:00.005-05:00

It has happened. Noah and JM both think each other are hysterical. What's so funny? When Noah goes up to Mama's leg and blows and makes a big fart noise on it. Or, when Noah makes a fart noise on the leather sofa and then JM has to do it, too. Fart noises are big around here. This goes for any sort of scream or silly laugh, too. JM has finally discovered an ally.

The love goes both ways. Noah wants to do ev.ery.thing that JM does. If JM takes his shoes off, Noah wants his off, too. If JM runs down the sidewalk, Noah runs down the sidewalk. If Michael is doing a garbage dumpster flip over his head with JM, Noah wants one, too.

Thankfully, JM has been pretty sweet with Noah lately. I write this with a bitter taste in my mouth, and emphasize the word "pretty" sweet, as not 5 minutes ago JM pushed Noah off the step stool and made him cry and had to go to time out. But lately, JM has been taking Noah for lots of Jeep rides. He LOVES his little Jeep, so it's a big deal for him to have a passenger. He is also giving Noah impromptu hugs and doing nice things like pushing Noah around on the riding toy in the backyard, which totally rocks for the parent used to having to do such. Siblings are pretty cool. This stage totally makes it worth the guilt I felt at first when Noah was born and we added this "extra" person to the family.

Oye, and can you imagine the amount of screams and fart noises around here in our future with another boy? Aye yi yi!

16ish weeks

2011-11-02T19:28:00.006-05:00

My Healthy Pregnancy Nurse through the program at Michael's work mentioned today that I am 17 and a half weeks pregnant, no? No time like the present to get that 16 week picture done, eh? Doh!

Anyway, since we're discussing wonderful week 16, I might add that I felt nauseous until week 16! Every night from 3-10pm from weeks 7-16, I wanted nothing but either a loaf of french bread or more realistically, a plain bagel with cream cheese. If you are feeling crappy in your first trimester, (or ehem, into your 2nd trimester!), try a bagel and orange juice. This baby definitely has gotten no shortage of carbohydrates thus far.

Eeek, my next picture is 20 weeks, when I'll be halfway through. Whoa!

P.S. I am still in denial that there is a boy in there.

Blanket

2011-10-31T22:01:00.005-05:00

You know how Michael Jackson's son is named Blanket?
Well, this is our Blanket. He prefers to carry around anywhere from one to three blankets at a time. There are two that are both satin and minky fabric that are his favorites and interchangeable, but neither is a clear favorite. He just needs at least one of those and preferably both, and then maybe the football blanket and also maybe his giraffe lovey. That's our Blanket! I've decided that Noah's Love Language is physical touch. He loves to snuggle!

Halloween '11

2011-10-31T21:41:00.004-05:00

Fall, wonderful fall!

2011-10-28T09:35:00.005-05:00

It was 54 degrees this morning when I took John Michael to school. There was a chipper vibe at dropoff this morning and with good reason. It was a LONG and HOT summer, y'all. And, by hot I mean melt the surface of the sun hot for more than 100 days in a row with not a drop of rain.

Finally, we get to get out our fall clothes! And, I can take the boys to the park in the afternoons, again!

Honestly, this post is pretty much about how much I love Noah's new vest. I was feeling guilty about it, as I spent more on it than I usually would on a coat, but I had a credit from Zappos and darnit, I freaking love it. And, now I feel less guilty about it, since we're having another boy! Truth be told, we have a lot of hand-me-downs, so I've spent considerably less than a lot of people. And, one thing I've learned as a mom, is that if I really like a clothing item and if it's going to give me joy every time I see my boys wear it, it's totally worth it. So bring on the smocking and seersucker and preppy clothes! We're saving money on girl clothes, you know?

I digress. The park. We love to dig. Ramsey Park is such a nice park for this reason.

And, Noah is such a funny little character. He really likes to lay down and chill, no matter where we are. Even if it's in a pile of gravel. Way to break in that new vest, Noah!

Fall makes me so happy. Even though we don't have the beautiful changing of the leaves on the trees like we do up north down here in Texas, it's still such an optimistic feeling to know that it probably (ehem) won't be 100 for a while, now.

So, I take out my Samples and Dave Matthews Band and Grateful Dead and all the other music that I listened to in the 1990s and feel happy. The older I get, the more I feel like the music I love the most is what I listened to in college. I love new music, too, but when it's fall time, out comes the college music. What music is your favorite music? Are you stuck in the 1990s with me? Happy fall and happy Halloween!

A wife for Henry XIII

2011-10-24T18:53:00.007-05:00

God, you sure have a funny sense of humor! Life is never, never what I expect it to be. This morning, Dr S had barely fired up the ultrasound machine and I had just spotted the beating heart when I saw it. In the past 4 weeks, somehow my girl grew a penis. I almost fell off the ultrasound table. We are having another boy!

If they had told me anything other than "girl?" at the 12 week ultrasound, I think I would be taking this a little easier, but girl? made my heart begin to hope as I had never hoped before (Pride and Prejudice), my mind going in a whole new pink direction and I will admit today I am a little sad. I am beyond thrilled and blessed that our baby boy is healthy in there, but knowing that I am probably not meant to have a biological daughter admittedly stings a little bit. Sure we could try for four, but I am not sure if I can do this pregnancy thing, again. We'll see. We're Catholic. Never say never, but I think I'm done.

Anyway, blog reader, please do not think me ungrateful. My boys are the best things to happen to me and I am a good boy mom. Truth be told, I hate princesses and tutus and I've mentioned before that I don't know how to do hair. My friend Angela kindly said that we need more good men in this world and she was happy I was raising another one. Isn't that a lovely compliment? And, as Michael and I mused, we're one step closer to our own baseball team, to our own Cub Scout pack and probably most realistically, to our own H. Brothers Construction Company. It will be great. I cannot wait to hold new baby boy H! He will be so loved and wanted! But I am giving myself a day to let this sink in and that's okay. As the minutes go by, I am getting more excited. Here is our big announcement picture:

and not two seconds later.... :) You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?

Revived

2011-10-23T15:46:00.005-05:00

This weekend I ate dinner out after 6:15pm, saw 2 movies in a theater in a 24 hour period, went to Home Depot and returned some items and browsed with an ease to my step, went to a kitchen and bath showroom and did some dreaming of my future master suite bathroom (a tub with a heated backrest, oh my!), stayed one night at a hotel 10 minutes from my house just to sit by the pool, attempted to sleep in (unsuccessfully) and most importantly, spent some good quality time with the mister. In none of these instances did I drive my SUV, nor pack a snack or sippy cup, nor change diapers nor rush to the potty, nor work off any sort of schedule. Thanks to my sweet mama, Michael and I had a two-night "staycation." I hate that term, but really we stayed in Austin and were leisurely, so that's what it was. The best part was that other than reserving a room at the Westin at the Domain, we had nothing planned. We just did whatever we felt like doing, which meant a lot of eating, movie-watching, reading and general laziness. And, it was wonderful!

My mom pretty much rocks because not only did we get this period of respite, but John Michael and Noah were returned to me with suitcases full of clean clothes, new pacifiers for Noah (yes, he's still on the paci) and a large bag of homemade Halloween play doh and Halloween cut outs (mom is a former preschool teacher). Both of my boys were happy and rested and I swear both grew up a little in the time they were gone. My mom lives in the country so they got to do fun stuff like feed turtles, horses and chickens (Noah said "bok bok bok" and loved the chickens!), go to the elementary school Halloween fest and hold bunnies (JM loved it) and do the forbidden stuff they don't get to do at home that all kids do with their grandparents. Art gave Noah Dr. Pepper when they went out for pizza! They had their bath in the hot tub! Other than the fact that we realized JM is allergic to mosquito bites and returned all swollen on his face and hands, the weekend seemed to be quite lovely for all. And, it was especially appreciated by me for the fact that I haven't been away from Noah for more than 24 hours since he was born and also, TOMORROW IS THE DAY WE FIND OUT THE BABY'S GENDER! Yes, tomorrow at this time we will know finally once and for all and it was nice to be distracted as the minutes and hours drag on until the big reveal!

So, any guesses? I promise I will let the entire world know as soon as I can!

Wiped

2011-10-10T14:48:00.012-05:00

Oh, this poor blog is being sorely neglected lately!
Y'all, I am WIPED OUT.
Between chasing two toddlers, running a household and the everyday minutiae of life, come 8pm when the boys are in bed and it should be blog-updating time, this pregnant mama be out of gas.
Not helping this zombie-like state is late-day sickness.
That alleged "sudden burst of energy" that you read about "some" (cue eyeroll and exaggerated air-quotes) women getting, does not apply to this 2nd trimester for me so far (I'm 14 weeks).
With this baby, I feel sick in the evenings and I'm ready for it to be over, already!

Anyway, without further ado, an update on what we've been doing:

Noah is a dipping machine! Give him any condiment, including queso or salsa, and he'll dip it up. JM was never a big dipper, but this kid loves some dip

Ava! We got new neighbors who have a 3 year old girl and it has seriously changed life for us so much that I think we are back to adding on to our house and updating the kitchen, again. It's so nice for JM to have someone to play with! I walked in on them reading a story together the other day and it was adorable.

We went to the preschool fall picnic. Somehow mama got named co-chair for this bad boy and learned about the politics of the PTA. Overall, it was a success and a lot of fun for the boys, but the planning was not as fun as it should have been for this former meeting-planner. On the upside, I honestly could not love this picture any more.

The weather's been cooler, so one morning we went to Ladybird Lake and fed the ducks/turtles/fish. It was fun until Noah didn't want to get back into the stroller, which led to a LONG 1.5 mile walk back to the car.

This weekend, we went to the State Fair and visited with Mimi and Grandpa and our cousins. Noah is still a bit grumpy lately, so he stayed home for the fair. JM loved the food and especially, the rides. He even went on a roller coaster with Daddy and on the Texas Star ferris wheel with Mama and Daddy!

And, seriously, this wait between my 12 week appointment and 16 weeks when we find out the gender of this baby is dragging on.... I can't stand it! Two weeks to go. Ugh.

12 weeks

2011-09-28T19:42:00.001-05:00

Yup, I'm wearing a maternity shirt!

Party of Five

2011-09-27T11:14:00.008-05:00

Surprise! We are having another baby! Michael and I decided that things were far too boring with just a one year old and a three year old, so we're expecting new baby H. around Easter time, April 8, 2012.

Things are so different this pregnancy. For one, there has been this weird easiness to the whole experience. With Noah it took me 7 months to get pregnant (which I totally can't believe considering they are so close in age. What were we thinking?!!!). With JM, I had two miscarriages before a viable pregnancy. I must say I'm still in shock about this one. Happy shock, but it is very surreal to be seeing my OB, again and seeing that blessed heartbeat, again and needing maternity clothes, again, when it seems like I just put them away. I hope God knows what He is doing, giving me another small child to care for. Sometimes, I already feel way overwhelmed, just with the two! I have no idea how I'm going to go to Target, HEB, pre-school drop-off, etc. with three. Maybe I won't? I guess I'll figure it out!

One thing that has not changed about being pregnant for me is the anxiety. Miscarriage has tainted me. Despite my efforts to pray, to trust and not be anxious, I am not a zen pregnant lady. I cannot wipe without looking at the TP. If this is indeed my last time being pregnant, I will not miss this part. Usually I settle down a bit, until we get to the "kick counting" part and then I get all nervy, again. Sigh.

For the record, when you are pregnant for the fourth time, you get bigger a lot earlier. I went to put on church clothes on Sunday and anything even somewhat clingy looked like I had two pigs under a blanket like the lady in Steel Magnolias. I also managed to avoid morning sickness until about week 9, but since then, food has no appeal to me. I am burpy, only want to eat soft pretzels and bagels and every night around 9, get this weird garlic/burning smell in my nose that won't go away. Already I am having trouble sleeping. I feel like I'm resting, but not getting good sleep. :(

I had my 12 week appointment last Friday, but haven't gotten around to blogging until now. With JM and Noah I think I blogged the very first minute I could. One similarity to both of their pregnancies is that this time, too, I found out very early on that I was pregnant and waiting 8 weeks to tell people drags on and on and seems like a lifetime. I am so glad to be "out!"

This time I told Michael that I didn't think I could handle waiting 40 weeks to find out the gender. He preferred to have another 'surprise' baby but, agreed to concur with my preference. At our 12 week appointment, we did see some possible GIRL!!!! parts, but the sonographer gave us a big maybe on our chart, because there was a lot of umbilical cord right in front. Michael and I are practicing our patience and will thankfully be put out of our misery and know for sure if we are going to continue this boy trend or rock our worlds with some pink stuff, right before Halloween. It's taking every ounce of my being not to buy a dress, I must say. I will be thrilled if we have another boy, but I may possibly faint if it's a girl. I didn't think my body could produce girl babies. We'll see!

I am so excited about adding to our little family! It's going to be even crazier, but I can't wait!

Signs of aging

2011-09-22T15:54:00.005-05:00

I am 35 today.
I know I am old because I took great satisfaction in buying myself the following gift:

Yes, that's right, blogreader. Twasn't an overpriced pair of denim jeans or make-up like I would have gotten in my 20's, rather I got a 30-pack of nesting Rubbermaid leftover containers from Costco (currently on sale with coupon, btw!) and thoroughly enjoyed tossing my entire drawer of previously mismatched containers into the Goodwill bin. They all match! They all fit in one drawer! The lids even stack! Now is that big fun or what? For an aging Virgo, anyway.

Firemen

2011-09-22T07:30:00.004-05:00

Suddenly, the fire hat has come back out for John Michael. Remember when he wore it every day when he was 2? I loved that stage.

Anyway, now the fireman has a partner in crime. Noah usually will not keep a hat on, so obviously big brother's endorsement of the hat means a lot.

I really could not love these people any more!

Wordless Tuesday

2011-09-13T20:48:00.003-05:00

Unhappiest baby on the block

2011-09-09T09:55:00.006-05:00

Do you see this face?
This is the face of someone who has decided he hates being in the car.
This morning he screamed bloody murder the 10 minutes to JM's school and back. The very long 10 minutes there and 10 minutes back.
Oh, he hates HEB, too. The balloon in the picture? Bribery. All I needed was a few gift cards, some fresh fruit and eggs, but Bubba was not having it. You could hear him throughout the store. I should have ditched my effort, but my neighbor is volunteering down in Bastrop this morning and taking a bunch of supplies for the fire victims and I decided that was more important than a happy baby.
Blogreaders, I am about at my wits end with this child. I've taken him to the doctor to check his ears. I've given him Motrin until the cows come home. The past two months, dealing with Noah is driving me batty. He is unhappy way more than he is happy. I feel his pain. He can't talk. He gets dragged around all over the place for his brother's events. He has teeth coming in. I'm sure it's not always fun. But seriously? I give the child all the snacks a boy can want. He cries and I am trying to hand him new things to make him happy in the car and his majesty throws them aside like they are garbage. And, poor John Michael. He and I both have to listen to this any time we go out anywhere. I have Noah rear-facing, so this morning I tried putting him in JM's seat forward-facing to see if maybe he's getting carsick and that would make a difference. We'll see, but he did cry all the way home that way, too. The only time he's happy lately is when he is sleeping. Which, thankfully, he seems to be doing a lot of. Maybe he's going through a big developmental thing with all this walking and talking. I don't know. Sigh.

Anyway, I am not one to rush babyhood, as I know it goes by far too fast, but I must say I do in fact, want to get past this stage. I wish I could help the poor miserable sap. I don't know what else to do.

We miss you, Dad

2011-09-06T14:18:00.003-05:00

Today marks 10 years since my dad's death from stomach cancer.
I still can't believe he's gone.
His biggest fear was that we would forget him.
Although with time, the wound from his passing is less raw, the fact is that we are forever scarred with the influence he had on our lives.
In a little while, my siblings, my mom and Art and my boys are all headed out to the lake to toast this special anniversary. I won't lie. I'm feeling a little sad. It bothers me that a whole decade has passed since I got to hug my dad.
I miss you, dad, forever!

School days

2011-09-02T11:01:00.005-05:00

John Michael was SO excited to go back to school this morning. It's very nice to be the big man on campus. You know, he's in the 3 year-old class now, so he knows where to go and what to do.

With his new teacher

Outside his classroom. They have FROG name badges!
Attempting to get a group shot of JM with his cousins. With the stress of the morning, I completely forgot to try to put Noah in this picture or any others! You'll have to trust me that he was there... Anyway, Madeleine (3), JM (3), Lucian (4) and Abby (2) all go to school there. With Noah (1) and Dylan (3 mo) we have that stair step thing going on, for sure!

Another year begins! I love JM's school!

On a lighter note...

2011-09-01T15:31:00.004-05:00

John Michaelisms I don't want to forget.....

A pallet, such a wooden pallet for a forklift, is pronounced pow-let. He has a little Bruder forklift he plays with all the time that came with two pallets you can lift and lower. He's always talking about pow-lets.

He told me that Froggy's daddy drives a tow truck and that he had to use a sparrow tire on it. I think he meant spare tire. I feel slightly guilty because I've heard him call it a sparrow tire before and I didn't correct him because I liked it so much. He is always making up stories about Froggy to mimic what is going on in our lives (the other week I had a flat tire and thankfully didn't have to get a tow, but we talked about tow trucks). So far I've learned that Froggy has a swimming pool at his house. It's small and green like a pond. (We've been looking for houses with pools). I've also learned that Froggy takes a helicopter to school. Since we're getting ready for his first day of school tomorrow, there is lots of talk about what Froggy's school is like. Unfortunately for JM, we will be taking mom's plain ol SUV to school tomorrow. Maybe one of his classmates has a helicopter. I wouldn't be surprised.

So much going on in that little mind!

Birthmother

2011-08-31T21:13:00.009-05:00

On the surface, I live a completely normal, if not privileged life.
I am average looking, with two adorable toe-headed boys. I am college-educated, reared with Midwest-family values. I shop at Nordstrom, Target and HEB. I live in a nice house. I have a wonderful husband. I get to stay at home with my kids. We go to storytimes, church, ballgames, restaurants and music festivals just like any other Austin parents.
I am also a birthmother.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that this particular title could or would ever be attached to my name. I spent my teens and much of my early 20s holding onto my virginity like a badge of honor. When my dad got sick, I could no longer remember why I was hanging on to this badge and in a weak moment, decided I wasn't getting married anytime soon. When the birthmother word first came into my lexicon, I had just spent 4 years working my way up the ladder working as a TV producer, and had decided that I wanted to get out of TV and move to Chicago to be closer to my grandparents. I was dating a guy pretty seriously and he followed me to Chicago from North Carolina where we met. I was having a tough time finding a PR job in Chicago, but rooming with a friend's sister and working as a bartender part-time.
Wham. All of a sudden I couldn't remember when I had gotten my last period. I was never horribly organized about it in that way of a normal 25 year-old. Was it recently? Since I had no job, I wasn't seeing an OB regularly. Hmmm, maybe I'll walk across the street to get a pregnancy test from CVS. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was like a slow sequence from an after-school special that I never envisioned myself in. It was positive. My boyfriend at the time freaked out. Since we had been dating for a while, I thought he'd get down on one knee immediately, but he wasn't sure.
There are flagship moments in one's life where the line defining before and after is vivid. There was the line defining the phone call when my parents told me my dad had terminal cancer. Before that line, I was innocent. After that line, an adult. This time the line came from that pregnancy test. Before that line, I was a normal, if not slightly less sexually active 20-something. Now, I was either going to be an abortionist, a single parent or a birthmother. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid to let something like this happen to me. I had graduated from college! Gotten good grades! Up until now, I hadn't done anything (well, besides trying to have a party in high school) to make my parents anything but proud of me. Now, I had messed up my life big time and nice girls in this country just don't do that.
To return to the story, things got complicated with the boyfriend and we started fighting all the time. I had to tell my recently-widowed mother on the phone that her firstborn, previously non-trouble causing daughter was in fact, knocked up with no plans to wed. It was fall in Chicago, dark and cold already. Mom encouraged me to move to Austin and move in with her. Sunny and warm and filled with family love sounded good to me who was cold, lonely and hopeless in Chicago, so I came home, tail between my legs. Actually, that is an exaggeration. I was completely broken. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid.

The decision to place my child for adoption was not an easy one. It is something that I struggle with to this day. I knew that my heart and soul couldn't handle having an abortion. After having a dad who was amazing as mine was, I just couldn't see how I was going to make being a single parent work on my own at 26. I knew that my family would help me, but at that time, I had a sister in high school, a mom working a full-time teaching job and a brother in college. My heart just kept coming back to the fact that I couldn't see raising a child on my own. So I called an adoption agency. And found an amazing family who mirrored the life that I wanted for my child. It happened in a blur. My family was amazingly supportive of my decision. It was physically and emotionally the most painful thing in my life. I could go on about how it felt to hold my baby in the hospital. I could go on about how it felt to leave the hospital without him, but it's really hard for me to go there. It was like tearing my own heart out. The weeks and months following were extremely painful. It still hurts me to think about so I'm not going to get into that now.

Although it was horrible and painful like no pain I have felt before or since, I have to tell you, blog reader, that whereas I wonder and worry about my birthson feeling abandoned and that I didn't want him, I felt God's Holy Spirit guiding me through this process. When I thought about raising this child on my own, I felt confused. When I met the family who would adopt my child, I felt a strange peace like some cosmic thing pulling me in that direction. I must tell you that this family has not let me down. The first year, they sent me no less than 10 letters with thousands of pictures of my birthson, chronicalling every smile, coo, expression and milestone. To this day, they always remember me on his birthday, my birthday, Christmas and Mother's Day. Every letter I receive is at least eight pages long. I have so many pictures of him that I don't know how to store all of them. And, I must say that my birthson is having a pretty incredible life.

Not a day passes that I don't think about him and pray for him. More than anything, I pray that he doesn't feel abandoned. Realistically, I know that as wonderful as his parents are, it is very normal for adopted children to feel unwanted and I hate this. Even I don't have the words to explain why I did what I did. It is a complicated situation. You may read this and judge me and I suppose that is fair. All I can say is that I made my decision with prayer, with my heart broken in a million pieces and based on faith. Faith in God and faith in this family that I chose. I pray that I made the right decision.

Why am I writing this, now, eight years later?
1. Being a birthmother and talking about being one are rare things in this country. If you've happened upon my blog and saw that I had labeled myself a birthmother, I want you to know that you can be okay if you consider the adoption-alternative. It is not the easiest road, but you can be okay.

2. Without this happening to me, I would have never met my wonderful amazing husband, nor had the life that I do now. My life is amazingly blessed. I would have been MISERABLE getting married to my son's birthfather. Miserable! Dear God, as horrible and hard as this was for me thank you thank you THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES FOR MICHAEL!!!!!! I got relocated to Austin, a city that I love (sometimes not so much when it's 100 degrees for 100 plus days, but I digress). My brother, sister and mom are all here. I met Michael, about a year after this happened and he loves me, sometimes more than I deserve. And, now we have the boys. I get to be the mom that I wanted to be with my birthson. I hope that I make all of my kids proud.

For the record, this might be something new you are reading about me. I don't consider this part of my life a big secret that is not to be discussed. It is part of who I am. I will talk about it openly and blog about it. It is not my favorite topic, as there are so many hurts attached, but I am okay with it eight years later.

I have a picture in my room of my birthson and JM asked me about it one time. I told him that it was a picture of a very special boy who also grew in mama's tummy, who is his half-brother. He looked at me like I was nuts and went back to playing with his garbage truck. I pray someday when he and Noah can understand, that I will have the right words.

3. I hope these words serve a purpose for whomever is reading them, now, whether it be trusting in God's plan for your life, hope for your future, consideration of a birthmother role, or likewise. Peace!

From our pre-school handbook

2011-08-25T21:39:00.001-05:00

LOVE

As I grow please . . .

Understand that I am growing up and changing very fast.

It must be difficult to keep pace with me, but please try.

Listen to me and give me brief, clear answers to my questions.

Then I will keep sharing my thoughts and feelings.

Reward me for telling the truth.

Then I am not frightened into lying.

Tell me when you make mistakes and what you learned from them.

Then I can accept that I am OK, even when I blunder.

Pay attention to me, and spend time with me.

Then I can believe that I am important and worthwhile.

Do the things you want me to do.

Then I have a good positive model.

Trust and respect me.

Even though I am smaller than you, I have feelings and needs just like you.

Compliment and appreciate me.

Then I'll feel good, and I'll want to continue to please you.

Help me explore my unique interests, talents, and potential.

In order for me to be happy, I need to be me, and not someone you want me to be.

Be an individual and create your own happiness.

Then you can teach me the same, and I can live a happy, successful and fulfilling life.

Thank you for hearing me.

I Love You.

Helene Rothschild

Successful Parenting

The best

2011-08-24T07:14:00.003-05:00

As is my nightly ritual, before going to bed last night, I snuck into John Michael's room.
I covered up his sleeping body with the blankets, looked gently at his sweet face lost in dreamland, kissed him and said, "I love you, sweet boy."
Much to my surprise, he responded in a muffled, sleepy voice, "I love you, too."

Do you go in and look at your sleeping children or did you, if they are grown? It is one of the best parts of my day. This was the first time I actually got a response!

Resisting the media room

2011-08-22T10:25:00.011-05:00

It’s all Oprah’s fault that now we’re probably not moving to Steiner Ranch.

Last week I was totally gangbusters on the idea. We went out to the park there one morning and I chatted with a nice stay at home mom about how much she loves it. We went through a few houses and found one we liked, but not enough to put an offer in, so were feeling hopeful we'd find something out there.

Then, we went back on Saturday night. Mike thought we should go to their community back to school picnic and see what it would be like if we lived there, which was a great idea.

Although I loved seeing JM have a blast with the other gazillion kids, seeing the sense of community including the high school drill team and band and getting an overall sense of life out there, I had recently watched an episode of Oprah Season 25 Behind the Scenes where one of the producers was talking about the importance of trusting your gut. And, my gut says a big no to Steiner Ranch. I don’t know what it is, exactly, but whereas it seems a utopia with so many amenities and beautiful, to boot, it just seems far in both proximity and in mindset from our current life in the Austin I know. I love the idea of the kids and having a bigger house, but I don't love it enough to want Michael to have to sit in traffic for 45 minutes to get there twice a day (versus his current commute of 15 minutes). Having a media room would be nice, but I'm just not feeling it.

So we’re back to square one on the house hunt. Sigh. Our realtor is going to think we are nuts. She is trying so hard to make us happy and help us find something. I have no idea if other people are as all over the board as we are in their househunting. I hope so. This is definitely a process for us. I'm willing to be patient and praying for direction. And, whereas I am tired of not having any kids around here during the week for JM to play with, it wouldn't be the worst to stay here for a while.

Anyway, we had a lot of fun this weekend.

We drove down to my mom’s and celebrated Art’s birthday. Seeing the boys play piano with cousin Madeleine reminded me of playing the piano for hours on end with my cousins at my grandparents’ house in Chicago.

We went to the Steiner picnic. Lots of water slides and inflatables! JM stood in line with all the big kids and went down a really steep water slide! No fear, that one. He loved it!

We took the boys to Mike's work event at the Round Rock Express game. They loved their first baseball game, especially going in the bounce houses before the game, then conning strangers into giving them cotton candy. For the record, it was about 108 degrees when the game started at 6pm. Standing outside waiting for JM to go down the slide was like standing on the surface of the sun.

Today we are catching up and getting back to normal. I'm starting to think that my boys think that with every outing we get to eat hot dogs and red velvet cake and go on giant waterslides, rock walls and bounce houses. They got spoiled this weekend!

Chinchillin

2011-08-17T15:13:00.004-05:00

My life has changed.
This week Noah started dropping his morning naps, rendering JM and I free as birds to do whatever we please in the morning hours for the first time in hmm, a year. A year!

This morning we looked at the kiddie calendar of events and saw that they had a storytime and petting zoo at our awesome, independent downtown local bookstore, BookPeople. Apparently, about 50 other moms also looked at the same calendar, because it was both literally and figuratively, a zoo.

It was fun, though. My boys were too squirrelly to listen to the story, but we did pet a chinchilla. Hopefully, we'll still go downtown and do fun stuff like storytime if we move to Steiner Ranch.

10 on Tuesday

2011-08-09T10:24:00.010-05:00

1. John Michael and I are singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to Noah when he cries in the car, lately. I will never tire of hearing that sweet little voice singing.

2. Noah is primarily walking these days!

3. We had a good day with Noah yesterday for the first time in what seems like 3 weeks. He has been SO cranky and miserable. Coincidentally, his upper molar broke through totally on the one side and is almost there on the the other side. I swear I've been keeping the Motrin company in business. Poor little guy. Also coincidentally, John Michael has been especially fun and helpful these days. I feel like he's growing up a little bit all of a sudden (sniff). Thank you, God, for only giving me one grumpy kid at a time!

4. Still obsessing about moving and researching different neighborhoods. We had dinner with our friends who live in Steiner Ranch the other night . She is a really cool mom to 4 boys and if she likes it, then it makes me consider it a little more. I will admit all those amenities are appealing. It's kid heaven out there! They have a boat dock, playscapes everywhere, tons of "secret sidewalks" (nod to my siblings), neighborhood sports, 3 blue ribbon elementary schools. I could go on. Anyway, to you non-Austinites, Steiner is a huge development, suburbia on crack, about 25 minutes from downtown in good traffic and close to the lake.

5. How did it get to be mid-August! JM starts school in two weeks! Remember during our childhood when summer lasted so long?

6. Sit and stand strollers! I mentioned this in a prev post, but all last school year when taking JM to the classroom, I had Noah in a cheapy umbrella stroller and JM would walk and I wound up lugging his lunchbox and water and trying to hold hands and juggle everything. 2 people in our playgroup got the Joovy Ultralite Caboose and my eyes were opened. Now when taking JM to school, I'll put my purse, his lunchbox and water , not to mention both boys in the stroller so I'm not walking around like some crazy pack horse! Who knew?

7. I spent two blissful hours watching Bachelor Pad last night and I'm pretty sure I lost some brain cells doing it, but I love the people they got for this season. Crazy Michelle from Brad Womack's 2nd season! Ames from the most recent one! Love Ames. And, then of course, there's Vienna and Jake. I love Mondays.

8. I want our kids to have both a magical childhood, as well as a spiritual one. Hence, I just ordered The Creative Family and Small Steps for Catholic Moms from Amazon. (see, I read, too!). For the record, I don't mean magical, like Harry Potter, but magical, like doing fun things out of the ordinary. My mom-mentor, Betsy, reco'd the Soule Mama blog I have in my sidebar and this book. Soule Mama is really hippy-dippy and natural and whereas, I don't think I'll be taking up knitting any time soon, I'd love to be more creative like her family. JM is so not interested in doing any art, but I want to try to do more! Maybe it'll inspire him. And, the Small Steps was recommended to me (based on my other selections, you know :) and sounds interesting!

9. After this, I will be cramming about 8 months worth of pictures that I managed to get printed (yay) into albums. I've been meaning to do this for a few months now. Who am I kidding, I probably will not do it. Does anyone besides me hate putting pictures away?

10. It was a good 100 degrees, but last night when I was making dinner, JM wanted to play in the sandbox and Noah wanted to be out there, too. Does anyone have an effective technique for de-sanding kids? We put the "mud" in mudroom around here.

Rocky Mountain High

2011-08-02T21:20:00.005-05:00

Just returned from heaven on earth.... 2 days in Estes Park/Rocky Mountain National Park and 6 days in Crested Butte. It was such a great vacation! I was worried that traveling with the boys, it would be more of a trip than a vacation, but it was such a nice balance of together time and alone time. I miss our little bubble in Crested Butte already!

Rocky Mountain Highs

Great plane ride there. JM LOVED it (like daddy, like son)

My new sit-and-stand stroller, the Joovy Ultra Light Caboose! Why, why have I gone this long without this stroller? I love it!

Weather in the 60s and70s

Listening to the rushing stream at night

Cooking out

Hammock laying at night in Estes Park

Seeing snow!

Hiking

Rocky Mtn National Park, so gorgeous

Lots of parks for the boys and us

Everywhere you look= mountains

Beer tastes better in the mountains

Cutest cabin in Crested Butte (not big but perfect location!)

Live music in the park and on the mountain in Crested Butte on Mondays and Wednesdays

Walked everywhere in CB (2 blocks to coffee shop, 3 blocks to grocery, 3 blocks to library, 2 blocks to city park, 1 block to main street, 1 block to Catholic church)

2 nights out with babysitter, one day to go mtn biking

Picnic lunch at Rocky Mtn and also Lake Irwin in CB

Naps every day

Great food, including amazing pizza and thai

Stars at night

Horseback riding (MB)

Massage- 90 minutes!!! (MB)

Flowers everywhere- wild and planted

Spending time together

Rocky Mountain Lows

Horrible dinner out at fancy Italian place in EP. Noah screaming. JM running around without shoes and also causing a scene. We paid with a credit card, but should have used cash.

Noah waking at 5am every day

Noah getting his molars and being generally not himself and cranky

Getting stuck in the rain and on all uphill trail mountain biking

Plane ride from hell with tired, screaming and destructive/grabby Noah on way home, read longest one hour and 45 minutes of our lives, as well as everyone else's on plane

To stay or go

2011-07-21T20:22:00.004-05:00

We might be moving.
After getting some preliminary estimates from contractors, we met with our financial planner and he pretty much said we were crazy to add on to our kitchen, when we could get a newer house that fits all our needs.
We have been looking at houses.
We talked to our realtor last night about what we needed to do to list our house, staging, etc.
It became a real possibility for me last night and it totally freaked me out and I'm having second thoughts.
I love this house and love the beauty of our neighborhood, oak trees and schools close by.
I hate not having a park to walk to, nor a swimming pool, nor any other SAHMs on my street. Oh, and the fact that when Mike works from home, we are all over him because we have no office.
I don't want to move to suburbia, but I want more kids in the neighborhood for the boys.
Should we stay or go? I go back and forth. I've always thought I was more of an "older" home, in the city, type person. I literally cannot stop thinking about it and am trying to pray about it that God will send us to the right place, even if that is staying here. I am so thankful that we have nothing pressuring us to move, if that's what we decide to do. We can take our time.

We have lots to think and talk about on our upcoming family vacation in the cool cool mountains! Can't wait!

Weekend in phone pics

2011-07-18T09:36:00.007-05:00

For the love of Michael

2011-07-14T19:04:00.005-05:00

Daddies play differently than do mamas. My friend's husband is a physical therapist, and his friend wrote a whole book on how that's a good thing.

I love John Michael's laugh.
And, look at Noah walking!
And, yes we are losing the battle of adults versus toys in this house....

Argh

2011-07-13T19:58:00.004-05:00

For the record, right now, I am being still, being thankful and having a glass of red wine.

I was working on being present this afternoon and in the present, I decided we needed to get out of the house. Off to Gymboree we went for their open play time. JM and Noah were having such a fun time. Noah loved the shiny balls. JM was the biggest kid there and was having a blast doing all sorts of things that the littles couldn't and shouldn't do. He was just hitting his groove when mean Mama decided it was time to go home to cook dinner and proceeded to have a total meltdown when it was time to leave. He didn't take a nap at camp today and man, it showed. He wouldn't leave and threw himself on the floor screaming at the door.

Of course, my car was parked a half a mile from the entrance and I had 20 lbs of Noah on my hip, so I actually had to leave screaming JM with the store manager (love her!) and go get Noah in the car and pull around so I could physically extricate JM from the premises without brother on the other arm.

I really want to have a third child, but I have no idea how I would do something like this with three when at times, it's awkwardly ridiculous with two. Thankfully, I can laugh. Being a new parent with JM, I wouldn't have laughed at the situation.

Some outings burn a LOT of calories! This was one of them.

Be still. Be thankful.

2011-07-12T21:24:00.009-05:00

I think one of the hardest things as a human being, and especially as an American, is to live in the present.

For example, it is 10 am as I write this. So far my morning has looked like this:
Wake up
Shower
Dressed
Get coffee
Makeup
Dress JM for camp
Make JM and Mike lunches
Make 2 sippy cups of milk
Make one snack cup for Noah of cereal
Get kids in car
Drive to mechanic and drop off car
Go home and drop Mike off to get his car
Drive to $1 breakfast taco place and get 3 tacos (me, Noah and JM)
Drive home because we forgot Bunny for JM's nap at camp
Get bunny
Go to camp and wait 5 minutes for doors to open, eat tacos at table outside
Drop off JM with his teachers
Come home, feed Noah what's left of his taco
Check email and brush teeth
Change Noah poo diaper
Put Noah in car
Return call from mom on bluetooth
Drive to Gymboree
Gymboree class
Drive home
Noah in bed for nap
Get on computer

Very little of that time did I spend savoring the moment. It was more like I was rushing around like a chicken with its head cut off. Lately, I feel like I'm spending a lot of time existing, but not living.

I think it's our nature to reflect on the past, or to plan for the future.We spend so much time beating ourselves up for mistakes we've made, or things we wish we had done differently in the past. Or, thinking about our young selves and the way we looked and acted. We remember those times fondly wishing for the freedoms of youth; innocent time when we relied on our parents or time before being a parent when our lives were much less complicated, when we could go anywhere or do anything without anyone relying on us.

We spend so much time planning. Planning for our kids' next growth spurt and buying them clothes. Trying to get good deals on things they will need. Planning our next vacation. Planning for the house or car we want to have. Planning how many kids we want. Planning for our next promotion. Planning for what we think will come next.

When I was little, I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. It was not ADHD, where I was aggressive or wild, but I had a difficult time concentrating. I am sure in the time before ritalin and ADD, I would have been called spacy or simply a daydreamer. My mind simply likes to wander. Over the years, I trained myself to focus in the classroom and it was never a problem. I got good grades and managed to graduate from college. But now, in this age of smart phones and busy lives, I'm having a tough time concentrating again.

God said, "Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10)." Let's break that down. "Be still!" Stop what you are doing! Quiet yourself. "Know that I am God." It is so fulfilling, knowing that there is something more than the ins and outs of getting places and being on time. If I never stop to quiet my busy mind, I am missing things. I am listening to my kids with half an ear as I worry about whether we should sell our house instead of adding on. When I am on my computer mindlessly using Facebook and looking at pictures of someone that I really don't interact with, I miss Noah walking four steps across the room. If I am constantly running here or there and texting and checking email and voicemail and go go going, I am missing the quiet little nudges and signs that the Holy Spirit sends us during our days. You know, the beautiful sunset or the butterfly that goes right over your head or your child innocently combing your hair. I think God wants so much to have a relationship with us, but getting stuck in the past or future is the devil's work, because we are not really living. When we are anxious or worried, that is NOT God. And, God is so amazing. Look at the intricacies on the simple veins of a leaf or study the beautiful little lines on your child's hand and you'll know what I'm talking about.

So thank you, Jesus, for two happy kids on the swing. It's hotter than hell right now, but for this very moment, we are having a good time and laughing. Thank you, Jesus, for this sweet baby in my arms. He is walking now and doesn't like to be held, but I so appreciate that he will let me rock him to sleep. Thank you, Jesus, for letting the tire on my car get flat 500 feet from a tire place next to a McDonalds.

Lord, help me really listen to the people around me. Help me look at them in the eye. Help me to not exist in the past or future, but LIVE right here, NOW. Amen! This is a great video/song Be Still and Know That He is God.

First movie

2011-07-04T20:23:00.005-05:00

Michael took JM for a "Guys Afternoon Out" on Friday to see his first movie, Cars 2. It went pretty well. He had to get up to go to the bathroom 3 times, but Michael said he also drank a lot of root beer. Yes, the first thing that JM said when he came home was, "I got two ice creams!" Apparently someone not only got to drink root beer, but also had popcorn and ice cream at the movie and then went to Mickey D's for dinner and got another ice cream! I'm glad he got some good calcium that day. Here are the pics Mike sent from the theater. The first one is titled "First course, root beer"
Then we have "Mmm, popcorn!"

If you were wondering, while the boys were at the Alamo (yes, isn't JM the lucky one? Seriously, I'm so glad he and Michael did something fun together even if they ate nothing but garbage) Noah and I had my mom over for a wine happy hour/review of our current kitchen plans, then the two of us went out to sushi. It is so weird how having only one kid, even a baby who throws food all over the floor, seems easy after having two!

We had a really nice 4th weekend AT HOME (woo hoo!) including: Zumba class, birthday pool party, cookout with the playgroup families, attendance at the neighborhood 4th parade and swimming at our neighbors' pool. No fireworks in Austin this year because of the drought, so we're watching on TV, for the first time in my life! So unAmerican!

Noah I think might be ready to wean. I'm a little sad tonight because of that. :( The past few feedings he's not all that interested. Wah! I guess almost 13 months isn't bad! He is also walking. When you aren't looking he goes 2, 3, 4 steps. I'll try to get on video! I am doing a crappy job of updating this blog lately. At night, I am tired and want to zone out.

Another good one

2011-06-29T12:23:00.002-05:00

"When I am four, I can drink margaritas!"
--John Michael, age 3, on seeing mama carry in two bottles of Kirkland's Best margarita mix.

When the cat's away...

2011-06-22T19:57:00.002-05:00

Look at what mama found on the video camera from when daddy was watching the boys! JM drives that thing all the time, but baby Noah? Oh my!

Learning to walk

2011-06-22T19:37:00.003-05:00

This has been going on a lot lately around here. He's been taking one or two steps on his own, too (gulp):

From the mouth of JM

2011-06-20T14:20:00.007-05:00

Today at lunch a commercial came on and John Michael responded:
"Maybe someday we can get a talking dog, Mama."

Recently, JM had a new cousin born and I was trying to explain, unsuccessfully, where the baby came from. I said that both he and Noah used to be in mama's tummy. JM said, "I must have been very hungry!"

I need to start writing more of this down! This picture of him is from camp last week. He thought he was hot stuff with that yellow war paint on. He is going through a yellow phase now. The green is so 2010.

Speaking of, he was pretending to be a little doggie and he said, "I am a doggie and my name is Yellow-y. My last name is Green-y."

Noah at 1

2011-06-19T20:09:00.003-05:00

Dear Noah,
Thank you so much for coming into our lives a year ago. We are so blessed that you are happy and healthy! You have made all of us (even JM) happy.

At one year, you were 19 lb 15 oz, a whopping 10th percentile for weight and 30.5 in long, 75th percentile for height. Yes, you are long and lean. It seems like all you do is snack, so I'm surprised. Dr. T said he wasn't worried and looking around at the H reunion last weekend, I'm not either. There are lots of tall, skinny people in our family! Anyway, you do like to eat, but you are way pickier than your brother. You are still nursing in the morning and at night, but just recently we've cut out the two other feedings. You seem happy to nurse and I'm happy to nurse you, so yeah, we're still nursing.

You still only have your four teeth! When are those other teeth going to come in? Dr. T said the top canines are right there and you've been very grumpy and drooly lately, so I hope soon!

You are quite a talker. You say: mama, dada, bubba, book, ball, duck and cheese. That is a lot of words for a 2nd baby.

You are crawling, cruising and can now stand on your own in the middle of the room. You have started pushing things around to practice walking, but no walking yet. Last night at Nana's, they said you walked a few steps to Uncle Peter, but since Mama and Dada didn't witness it, it was not official.

You are obsessed with books. You love Pat the Bunny and other tactile books that you can interact with. Sometimes, you will be nursing at night before bed, which used to get you all relaxed and sleepy, but now you will stop and look at your bookshelf and say "book!" like you're ready to stop eating and read, already!

It's so much fun to witness your personality. You are so independent and will happily play by yourself. You are so expressive with your feelings. One minute you will be happy as a clam and the next minute, you are screaming at the top of your lungs, if you don't get what you want. You are going through a "mama" and a "dada" phase, meaning if you see us, you want us to be holding you. If Mama is holding you and Dada comes in, you want dada and vice versa. If someone else is holding you and you see us, you start crying, but are happy if you don't see us (stinker). I think it's cute that you want Dada, too. Sometimes babies only want their mamas. I'm not sure if it's all the nursing, but you are a little cuddle bug. The other morning at cousin Shirley's, you woke up at 6am (ehem) and were happy to just lay next to me, snuggled up in our bed for a while. If we had to be up at 6am, at least you were snuggly, my sweet!

You are still sleeping great. Still two naps. Still sleeping about 12 hours at night. God bless you for that, little one! We like sleep around here.

We can't imagine our lives without you, Noah and are so excited to see what you start doing next! Happy 1st birthday!

Love,
Mama

Judy and Daddy love

2011-06-19T19:53:00.006-05:00

Oh, my, goodness! We have been busy! We had Mike's family reunion last weekend, Noah's birthday, JM's last week of camp and then we found out that Mike's aunt had passed away unexpectedly, so we had a whirlwind trip to Dallas, then drove to Mike's mom's hometown for the burial, stayed a night at his cousin's house and then came home to Father's Day!

Mike's aunt was only 69 and hadn't been ill. She was the sweetest lady and though she's not my family by blood, I cried at the beautiful eulogy given by her daughter. Judy was the most unselfish person. She was known for her cooking and was even famous for bringing your favorite meals every day to you if you were sick in the hospital. Can you imagine someone bringing you fried chicken as opposed to hospital food? God bless her. I hope she's getting some TLC up in heaven. It was an emotional weekend. In her memory, we did nothing but eat and drink with Mike's family. It was sad, but fun.

We swung home yesterday just long enough to take a quick snooze and get in an HEB run, then were off to my mom's for dinner. Today, we went nowhere other than church and it has been great! Both of my boys slept in this morning until 9am!!! That's right, I said 9! This is a H family record. And, a Happy Fathers Day to you, Michael. They are usually 7am men, but the past few days have been waking in their foreign beds in the 6am hour. They must have been happy to be back in their little beds!

Happy Father's Day to our wonderful DaDa! We love you and appreciate so much all that you do for us! We would be lost without you!

Unhappy campers

2011-06-15T09:24:00.003-05:00

Working parents, I applaud you.
I've discovered that the process of getting everyone out the door and into the car in order to meet a deadline makes me insane. And, insanely tired.
Those of you who have to get your child to daycare and yourself to work on time every day, and especially with toddlers, are my heroes!
In a moment of nostalgia for my beloved Catholic Youth Camp, I signed JM up for a day camp here that sounded like a lot of fun. They do swimming, horses, arts and crafts, camp cheers and popsicles. He's at an age where he really likes to be around other kids, so I thought it would be a win-win. Something that I didn't think nearly enough about was the fact that it's from 9-3 everyday with NO NAP built in. Since JM is about 50/50 on the naps these days, as it is, I figured we'd try it and see how it went. He loves it, but he is exhausted. Though the nice long break is nice during the day, I will be relieved when camp is over. Tomorrow is his last day.

I swear that JM can clue into the fact that I am stressed trying to get him somewhere on time, and hence gives me such a hard time getting out the door. This morning from the second he woke up, I could tell it was going to be one of those days. Michael went to get him and he was like "I want Mama!" From there, he decided he was in charge. He wasn't going to wear clothes today. He wanted to be naked. Trying to work with him, I said, put on some underwear and watch a show for a little while, then we'll get your clothes on. That worked, until it was time to get clothes on and he wouldn't do it. A major battle ensued. We were late for camp. I know that ultimately it's not that important to be on time for something as little as camp, but when he gets in one of his moods, there really is no way around it (that I've found). It would probably be best to just stay home! I saw this during preschool during the year, but being extra tired from camp is making it worse!

Parents of toddlers, how on earth do you stay sane when you're trying to be somewhere on time and your kids are giving you a run for your money to get out the door? I might be staying home the rest of the summer, I swear! Having "JM away time" is nice, but getting him there and back every day is killing me. I feel so blessed that he gets to go to camp, but honestly I don't feel I'm built for all this running around that's part of our American society. Thinking about all day soccer tournaments and swim teams and ballet makes my head spin. My kids might be recluses and we'll all just stay home in our little bubble!

If it weren't a social faux pas, I might consider having a drink right now. It's 9:39, for the record. Ughhhhh!

Happy Birthday, Noah!

2011-06-13T22:05:00.007-05:00

Party Number 2

A year ago today, I went into labor, had my water broken, got an epidural, started watching a movie and before I could blink, sweet little Noah was born! Okay, so there was probably more pain and drama than I can remember, but those are the highlights. Noah came into the world so smoothly and has brought so much joy to our lives. I am so thankful that he's healthy and we are his parents!

We had two celebrations. A party with his cousins at the reunion. Our immediate family has one birthday on the 12th, two on the 13th and one on the 14th of June. How crazy is that? Tonight we went to Hula Hut with my family. Noah loves those Thai BBQ fajitas. Look at his face in those pictures from Hula Hut! Get all up in that cupcake, Noah! It's your birthday!

We love you, precious baby!

Reunion

2011-06-12T20:39:00.010-05:00

I have two cousins. Two total on both sides, that is.
Michael has a lot. Maybe 50?
The past few years the H side has had a reunion. We went two years ago, but it was at a place where the cabins were spread out and it was hard to socialize. Last year, we were waiting for Noah to arrive, so missed it. This year, the reunion was at the beautiful (seriously, y'all) beautiful Canyon Lake in the Hill Country near New Braunfels. It was a great location where we were all close together, but in one big building overlooking the lake. Since all the rooms opened to a large patio area, we were able to put our babies to bed in our room and go hang out with all the cousins at night (being only 100 feet away and making a Madeleine McCann-style abduction difficult). So fun!

Sometimes emotions run high in families, and Michael's family is no exception, but I will say that they like to drink, God bless them. I had a blast. And, Canyon Lake is such a nice lake! Gorgeous white sandy beaches and blue green water. I felt like we were in Mexico! We took the boat and JM was squealing with glee he was having so much fun with his cousins. His parents were enjoying themselves, too.

And, thanks to the generous babysitting of my in-laws, I got to go tubing! I've lived in Austin for 9 years and have been invited on numerous trips to float the river. None have happened for one reason or other. I've been pregnant. It's been rainy. We were out of town. Anyway, we went down the Comal with 30 or so random H's. We saw a girl in a thong serenading the crowded river who I'm quite sure makes her living by dancing on a pole. We saw adults passing around a large container of Hawaiian Punch-type drink. We saw more cigarette and cigar smoking than I've witnessed in years. I lost my sunglasses and fell out of my tube. I was feeling no pain. Though our trip ran VERY long toward the end and we RAN.OUT.of.BEER (doh!) and we missed the reunion family picture (doh!), it was a blast!

We are all exhausted. John Michael actually asked to go to bed tonight at 7. Noah ran out of gas around 7:15. Tomorrow is Noah's 1st birthday. Will write more on that later, as I need to cheer on the Mavs!

Book

2011-06-02T13:50:00.003-05:00

I know that y'all think of me as being a perfect parent. I mean, on this blog, I can totally edit out all the wrongs of parenting so that it appears everything is sunshine and rainbows. Forgetting that someone is in time-out? Totally never happens. Losing my cool? Nope. Well, I will remedy this situation immediately by admitting that this morning, I was being a totally distracted parent. Both my boys were playing in Noah's room and I was on Amazon, trying to buy Noah a birthday present. So when sweet baby Noah was saying things to me, I was saying sorts of not-listeningy things like "yeah?" "uh huh" "really?" and trying to concentrate and block them both out so I could get the damn purchase over with, already. It wasn't until Noah actually hit me with a book from his bookshelf and said the word again that I realized that he was saying "book!" I looked down and he was holding a book and smiling, like "Geez, woman, what do I have to do to get your attention? I want to read this book! Do I have to hit you with it? Yes, that's right, I said book!!!""

He loves books, all of a sudden. Especially "Pat the Bunny" and this other one with baby animals you can "pet" with fur in it. Book! He wanted a book! Add that to his growing list of words.... Mama, dada, baba, hi, cheese and book. :)

Kiddie Acres

2011-06-01T14:29:00.006-05:00

God bless Karen T. of our playgroup.
The other day I woke up to about 15 fun and different playdate invitations for the summer.
Something to look forward to now that school is out and mama has no break from toddler questioning (so many questions, lately!! so many!)? Very appreciated. We love you, Karen.

I digress. Today we went to Kiddie Acres, which as she put it, is a little "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Everything is really old and run-down, but if you can trust in the fact that your child is safe and secure, also a total blast for the 2-3 year-old set. They had little airplanes and car rides, horse rides and a train. There aren't many places you can go where it looks like nothing has changed in 40 years. As a nostalgic person, I appreciate this. As a parent, I'm just glad we got out of there with all our limbs intact.

John Michael LOVED the little ferris wheel and went on it eleventy billion times in a row. Of course, his favorite ride was the highest and most potentially deadly. The other kids seemed to have fun, too. JM and Domenic looked so grown up in their little baseball caps. JM and Isabella rode two rides together. We left before it got too sweltering hot this morning. Great summer day out!

And, just to prove we were there, too.... Blech!

Espanish cooking

2011-05-25T20:49:00.006-05:00

My husband knows me better than I know myself. For our anniversary, he got me a cooking class at Central Market with Paco Roncero, one of Spain's top 10 chefs (I just googled to find this out). My first class of this sort, I was a bit anxious. Would they serve wine? Would it be okay to go alone? What should I wear? Would they expect me to cook lots of Spanish food on the spot?

Roncero was incredibly inspirational, passionate and well, cute. You can tell his life is his craft. And his craft includes A LOT of liquid nitrogen. I ate a passionfruit ball he dropped in there and smoke came out of my nose like Puff the Magic Dragon and burnt my tongue. He made a number of my other classmate volunteers do the same to break the ice. He also froze fruit that way and made caparinhas (which continued to break the ice). Mmm

Roncero made a long presentation about his life, including a lot of cheesy American music that touched my heart. It was just so innocent and Spanish of him to unabashedly use We Will Rock You without getting embarrassed about it. I miss my semester abroad in Madrid. I loved the culture. The slideshow got me thinking about my own passions. I actually sat there thinking that perhaps I should pursue my passion of cooking being a chef, then had this aha moment (I'll miss you, Oprah!) where I realized that I am a chef for the people I love the most, my three boys. I don't need a whole restaurant. I get to pursue my passion every day that I feel like cooking and it really does fulfill me.

Anyway, Michael, I loved the class and can't wait to go back for another one. Not realizing that modern Spanish cooking is much more than garlic, blandness, mayo and bocadillos, I would have never signed myself up for this exposure to Spanish cooking, but enjoyed it so much!

Oprah

2011-05-23T15:40:00.003-05:00

Am I the only one who is embarassingly bummed about the end of the Oprah show? During the kids naps (yes, kids', woo hoo!), I'm watching Friday's show about her most memorable guests. I'm not sure what I'm going to do without her sappy shows about people being reunited, overcoming obstacles or getting a makeover after 30 years.

Kids say funny things

2011-05-18T20:27:00.002-05:00

This afternoon, John Michael told me he wanted to go to "Buns and Lolo."
It took me a second, but I figured it out (think large chain book store).

Every time I think about Buns and Lolo, I smile. :)

Happy 3rd Birthday!

2011-05-18T10:24:00.003-05:00

Three years ago, I was getting ready to push John Michael out!

Ah, how much fun we've had the past three years! The celebrations have continued all week, including a trip to school with little applesauce muffins, yesterday.

We went to the pediatrician this morning. John Michael is 38.5 inches tall (75th percentile) and 35 lbs (85th percentile). Dr. T said it's not ideal that his weight percentage is higher than his height, but that he's not worried. I'm not worried, either, but I think the leniency from "treats" with potty training and trying to get JM to nap has gotten a little out of control and it's one thing I can work on a little. Dr. T. asked JM what his favorite food was, trying to initiate a discussion about good eating and JM replied, "flies." Dr. T looked at me and I had to explain JM's frog obsession and how we like to talk about eating spaghetti with fly sauce, etc. I wonder if Dr. T. was thinking he should call CPS, because when he asked him what fruit he liked, he looked at him blankly. Ah, three year-old of mine. :)

Sleep: Generally goes down around 8 and sleeps until 7ish. Takes a nap about 50% of the time. When he does sleep, it's about 2-3 hours.

Eating: Gotten way more picky all of a sudden, but I haven't caved to making separate meals. His favorite by far is pizza and also loves PBJ. He loves pickles, fruit and popsicles. His favorite vegetables are broccoli, edamame and corn. He won't eat cheese cubes, bananas or vegetables most days.

Potty time: Is potty trained and dry most of the day. Wears a pull-up at naps and keeps it dry about 25% of the time. Totally still wetting his night diaper.

Favorite things: Frogs and diggers. Loves driving his Power Wheels jeep outside and playing in the sandbox. Loves to be read-to and do floor puzzles. Loves helping mama make dinner and bake on his "high chair."

He is a really happy child. He loves school and playing with friends. He is pretty gentle and sweet with Noah. He is pretty normal, I think. He is still annoyingly picky about clothes and colors and has days when he tests my patience in a big way, but overall, his sweetness outshines the pain days. We'll keep him!

A Casual Digger Party

2011-05-17T10:12:00.008-05:00

I loved JM's 3rd birthday party.
Breakfast tacos and coffee.
Sunshine and beautiful spring weather. 9:30-11 is a pretty nice time for a party, methinks (if you don't mind having cupcakes at 10:45, that is).
Toddlers happily digging in the rocks.
Chill parents and family (for some, thanks to a secret jug of mimosas).
The only thing we were missing was a table. Note to self for next time, a table is a good thing to have.
The best part was that not only did we have fun, but JM was crazy excited and happy. He was so pumped! It is so fun now that he understands what a party is.
He'll be three tomorrow. Crazy!

11 months

2011-05-15T14:44:00.006-05:00

The other night I looked in on Noah sleeping and realized he fills up 3/4s of the bed. Yup, he's definitely getting closer to one. He seems so long!

So yes, he is 11 months old. Not too much has changed since last month.

Teeth- still only four. He hasn't gotten a tooth since January! He is ready to add two more on the top, though. He is grumpy, drooling and I can see where they are going to push through.

Sleeping- no changes. Still 2 naps a day. Still going to bed around 7:30.

Talking- He says the word "cheese" The kid loves some cheese cubes and goes "chee" "chee" when I get them out. He says "ma ma" "da da" "hi" and "cheese" now. He speaks in a very gutteral German way saying lots of "ack" and "ut" type sounds. I swear, once this kid starts getting words out, he is going to be a big chatterbox. He has a lot so say, but we have no idea.

Movement- He stands. He cruises (new since last month). He claps. When we are in the car, he will just start clapping sometimes and it cracks me up. He can high five. He can sign "more." He can climb stairs. He loves to play in the toilet (no no Noah! thankfully so far the water has been clean as it can be in there). Oh, and as of this week, he can stand unsupported if you let go of his hands for a few seconds. JM took his first steps on his first birthday, but I don't feel like Noah will do it that early. He isn't pushing things around on his feet, yet, but that is coming soon. I don't want him to walk too soon, so I'm not pushing it! :)

Eating- Still nurses 4 times a day. Still doing finger food and baby food between bites. The boy just learned how to eat from a snack cup and LOVES him some goldfish or cheerios in there.

This is a fun age. Noah is so interested in the world, yet still cuddly and babylike. It's so fun when he learns something new. You can tell he is proud of himself. Challenges at this age include his general grumpiness with teething and inability to communicate. He seems like he cries a lot, lately. :( When he is happy, though, he is very happy. Ah, to be 11 months.

I can't believe he'll be one in a few weeks! He still seems so little to me.

Getting Out Wednesday

2011-05-11T14:20:00.009-05:00

So far my "Getting Out Wednesday" idea has been a good one! I honestly can't tell you how much adding one little weekday of spontaneity has done to make me happy. In case you're just catching up, I've been a total recluse since Noah got onto a two-nap a day schedule and it has been rendering me almost batty, so I'm trying to get us out of the house once a week to do something fun.

Today, it looked like it was going to rain, so the kids and I went to the Austin Children's Museum. Since Noah generally naps at 9:30 and the museum doesn't open until 10 and I didn't want him to fall asleep in the car, we headed down there a little early. I put Noah in the Ergo and we walked around the 2nd street district trying to get him to fall asleep. JM and I pretended to be urban dwellers and got a coffee (or a cup of crushed ice. They had bins of drinks at the counter and the nice barista gave JM some of their ice in a cup and JM thought he was hot stuff) at Jo's Coffee Shop and had a lot of fun watching the construction workers in their hard hats on various construction projects on the street and doing some window shopping. That area, with the new W Hotel, high rise apartments, cafes and shops, makes Austin seem a lot more like a big city.

We had fun meeting Aunt LaLa for lunch at Mama Fus. John Michael got baby chopsticks with his lunch and had fun using them for the first time. And, because he is the luckiest kid in the world, we also had to stop at Delish for cupcakes, since I (accidentally) parked right by there (ehem). I hate to say it, but I think I Delish has knocked off Cupprimo as my favorite Austin cupcake. So moist, those cupcakes!

JM has his third birthday party this weekend! How is that possible? I tried to keep it "family-only" and small this year and didn't account for the fact that people might not be able to come (doh) so only a total of two of JM's favorite buddies are coming and I feel bad! Next year, maybe we'll shoot for a few more attendees :) Anyway, low key it twill be... Breakfast tacos, mimosas for the parents and digging in the rocks at the park is on the agenda!

I've reading this book called "Stay Home, Stay Happy" about being a happy stay at home mom that my mom sent me after hearing its author on the Catholic radio station (not because I was sad, but just because my mom is that kind of mom who likes sending her daughter stuff that sounds interesting). I like the book a lot. The author is a mother of 5, so has a lot of good advice (get a mom- mentor, exercise, make sure your kids spend time with their grandparents, etc). It's funny because spontaneity is one of the things she recommends for being content staying at home. She thinks that it's good for both parents and kids not to be on such a rigid schedule all the time and I agree. Believe me, this is an area where I need a lot of work. Being both a Virgo and a type-A personality, I love me a good schedule, but how fun is it to do something different! Are you spontaneous with your kids? What kinds of things do you do and how do your kids react?

Wave

2011-05-03T11:38:00.004-05:00

I found this gem from a month ago this morning while cleaning out the video camera... Love that sweet little yogurt-y face!

Workin men

2011-05-03T10:25:00.004-05:00

Here is a video from this morning. If you came to our house, this is a scene you'd probably encounter. Both of those boys love that workbench. JM is constantly taking calls from his construction foreman and Noah thinks he's pretty hot standing and using the table saw and drill.

Old

2011-05-02T15:08:00.002-05:00

Things that have gone through my head the past 24 hours:
1. Public radio is so great.
2. Oooh, I LOVE this song! (which I then realized was on light FM)
3. Man, I hate the mall!

.... OLD

Lemon Meringue Pie

2011-05-01T20:00:00.004-05:00

I so enjoyed making my first butterscotch pie a few weeks ago. Today, I got a craving for lemon meringue and by some twist of fate, actually had all the ingredients in my kitchen, so I thought I'd give this recipe a shot. I love making desserts on Sunday afternoons. It really relaxes me when the boys are taking naps (yes! both!) and I am alone in the kitchen listening to my music and baking. I'm glad that Lent is over and Michael is eating sweets, again, so he can be my guinea pig for these baking attempts. Thank God I have boot camp tomorrow morning to work this off! As you can see, we dug in!

Lemon Meringue Pie
Sources: Allrecipes and Trisha Yearwood Cookbook

1 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups water
2 lemons, juiced and zested
2 tablespoons butter
4 egg yolks, beaten
3 egg whites
1/4 cup white sugar
1 9-inch pie crust, homemade or purchased, prebaked as directed.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
To Make Lemon Filling: In a medium saucepan, whisk together 1 cup sugar, flour, cornstarch, and salt. Stir in water, lemon juice and lemon zest. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring frequently, until mixture comes to a boil. Stir in butter. Place egg yolks in a small bowl and gradually whisk in 1/2 cup of hot sugar mixture. Whisk egg yolk mixture back into remaining sugar mixture. Bring to a boil and continue to cook while stirring constantly until thick. Remove from heat. Pour filling into baked pastry shell.
To Make Meringue: Beat the egg whites with a pinch of salt until they begin to get stiff. Add 1/4 cup white sugar and continue beating until the whites are stiff and hold peaks. Spread the meringue on top of the pie, taking care to spread it to the edges of the crust. Bake until light brown (about 10 min).

Talkin toddler snacks and food, yo

2011-04-28T10:15:00.008-05:00

We are so blessed to live in this age where moms come up with brilliant ideas and market them to the general public.

Here are some things I love right now. A few of these are from companies started by moms. I love that!:

Camelback Water Bottle
I have a water bottle like this that I use every single damn day. It was great when I was nursing all the time when the boys were newborns and I was dying of thirst. I'd fill it up in the morning and with the handy ring in the top, could easily tote it around the house, along with my boppy under one arm and the baby in the other. When I saw that they had these at Target for kids in the lunch aisle, I balked at the $12 price tag, but it was the only green water bottle they had and JM needed one for school, so I splurged. Have I mentioned that JM has a small green obsession? It MUST be green. Anyway, this bottle has been well worth the money. Every morning I fill up both our bottles with ice water and it reminds us to drink water all day. I love these things. JM uses his little hook to carry his into school, so that's one less thing I have to carry!

Goodbyns

JM's teacher has told me no less than 10 times how much she loves JM's lunchbox. It's great for toddlers because he virtually needs no help opening bags or boxes to retrieve his lunch. He takes off the lid himself and voila, lunch is served. I love it, because I don't need any ziploc bacs or other containers. Having all those little compartments helps me get creative with his lunches, adding all sorts of nuts (tree nuts are okay in his classroom, thank God), veggies and dips. Once in a while they'll have these on Gilt.com deal emails or do a Google search for coupons on them.

Portable fruit and veggie purees

I have no problem getting my boys to eat fruit of any sort, so packing up a little snack cup of blueberries for an on the go snack is an easy no-brainer, the truth is that I'm lazy and getting out fruit and a cup and finding the lid is way more than I can handle most days. Enter the portable smoothie and purees. These are an awesome thing to throw in the diaper bag. I love that some of them have veggies in them, so they get veggies, too. It's fun to watch John Michael sucking down spinach because he's keen on the "green" of the smoothie package. You can get these at Babies R Us (sometimes they have 10 for $10 which is still expensive, but you pay for convenience! :)

Brothers Freeze-dried fruit crisps
My friend Karen brought these to playgroup when our older kids were like a year old and all the little toddlers gobbled them up like candy. The only place I've ever seen them is Costco, but I think you can order them on the interwebz through (evil) Amazon.com (who is currently selling a book showing a picture of the Virgin Mary in a bikini which disgusts me, so I'm currently boycotting) They are like $14 for a huge pack of them, but they are another awesome thing to throw in your purse for an outing. Both my boys love them and it's pure fruit!

George Foreman paninis
Who needs a $200 Williams Sonoma panini machine? Butter up some bread and throw it on your George Foreman grill with some mustard, cheddar and turkey and you've got a tasty panini! JM won't eat lunchmeat sandwiches ungrilled, but I figured out that he will gobble up some paninis. I also take tortillas and add black beans and shredded cheddar (we like cheddar in the H house) and both boys love those, too! Hint: When I'm making lunch for JM and Michael in the morning, I make myself and Noah a panini for when we eat our lunch later on. I love having lunch made for all of us at 7:30am! I hate coming up with lunch ideas on the spot. Why it took me so long to figure this out, I don't know. Make your lunch when you're making everyone elses! Duh!

I'm always looking for new lunch and snack ideas that are nutritious. What do your kids like?

P.S. Another thing that I love, the Ergo baby carrier, is the babysteal today. Go get you one for 50% off!

Easter bunnies

2011-04-25T11:24:00.002-05:00

I am such a sucker for smocking. Love them!

First Haircut

2011-04-25T10:55:00.010-05:00

Before

During

After

Noah was a total trouper. In fact, JM has never minded getting his hair cut either. And, yes, playgroup mamas, I took the boys to the "dirty" haircut place. :) There is a kids haircut place kind of by our house that always seems a bit unclean (the owner also has a restaurant in the same strip mall and I told Michael you couldn't pay me to eat there). Sometimes you just need convenience! From here on out I'm saving up my coupons and taking them to Great Clips. $15 for a kids haircut is crazy!

6ish am check in

2011-04-21T06:41:00.004-05:00

Dear Noah,
The multiple overnight wakings and 6 am wakeup time with LOUD screams like you're being attacked by bloodthirsty aliens are not fun.

Dear Tooth,
Please come in. I can't handle this much longer. I have gotten spoiled with my 7:15 clock-in time and I much prefer it. The long days of unhappiness requiring me to tap-dance repeatedly are also seeming a lot like unpaid overtime.

Love,
Mama, off to make coffee.... K, thanks, bye

Get Out

2011-04-20T20:34:00.006-05:00

I hate to admit it, but I've been feeling pretty glum the past few months.
Whereas at first, I felt like I could bring Noah with us wherever we went and he could snooze in his car seat or sling, when he starting napping regularly I quickly turned into a shut-in.
It's easy to do at this stage. Your baby needs to sleep twice a day and a nice crib is at home and it makes him happy to be in it.
The problem is that I am not a very good homebody. I like to do stuff. To see people (particularly adults). When I don't get out, my mind sort of goes all spongy and I get all sorts of inward-looking, (read: boring). Part of my problem is is that Noah is a great napper. With 4 hours of my day occupied with him sleeping, it leaves little time in between feedings to go anywhere.

Since Noah is nowhere near dropping his second nap, I am on a quest of late to get myself OUT of the house and out of my boring morning routine (afternoons we do get out, usually, but they are going to get hot soon!). Last week, I went to playgroup and Noah slept in his car seat in Celeste's room for an hour an a half. The week before I went to Michele's and Noah didn't nap (not good later, but so nice then to chat). Today I texted Celeste that we were thinking about going to Zilker and sure enough, she was available and all 5 of us spent the morning riding the Zephyr, playing on the playscape and eating ice cream. Noah happily slept in the Ergo and seemed no worse for wear.

It's probably not good for my kids to be so rigid all the time, either, so I'm working on one day a week letting Noah nap somewhere other than his crib. It will probably be good for all of us! Do you have more than one child? How did you handle the stage from 3 mo-15ish mo when they napped twice a day? Motherhood can be really isolating, but at least we live in the modern age of the internet where we can connect and share ideas with people outside the house, even if we can't see them! I'd love to hear how you did it!

10 months

2011-04-17T15:07:00.013-05:00

Oh my. The other day I was saying to Michael that I couldn't believe that Noah was growing out of some of his 6-12 month clothes and Michael said, "well, he is going to be a year in two months." Whoa! Noah is going to be a year in two months! In my mind, he is like 7 months (just like in my mind, I am still 27). So I sadly had to get out some 12-18 month summer pajamas of JM's and they seemed way way too big boy. I was so eager to get JM into shorts and polo shirts at this age, but with Noah, I'm keeping him in onesies and "baby" outfits as long as possible! We have plenty of time for cute shorts, but so little time for baby clothes!

Food
I'm still nursing, though I can't pump out as much anymore, so I think Noah's getting more solids, by far. My plan with the nursing is to go with it as long as he is interested, or until he gets old enough for it to seem weird. As far as solids go, I'm in a bit of a quandary. Noah doesn't like traditional baby food all that much (once you've had Papa Johns, why would you want Gerber Graduates? :) and is sort of picky about which table foods he will eat, so I am constantly worrying about his eating (even though I told myself I wasn't going to do it). He will eat fruit until the cows come home; strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, watermelon, grapes, bananas, but veggies, proteins and carbs? Not so much. He also loves to drink ice water or for that matter, any beverage we are drinking out of a cup. The other day I gave him some of my grapefruit juice and I was surprised that he loved it and wanted more!

Sleeping
He is a great sleeper. 12 hours at night; usually 7:30 to 7:30 and two two hour-naps. Love that!

Talking
Lots of ma ma, ba ba and da da. I swear he can say "hi", too, but he gets all mum whenever I get out the camera (see below). He loves to come crawl up to me and say "ma ma ma ma" and raise his arms to be picked up. It melts my heart.

Teeth
Still just the four, two on top and two on bottom. Lots of drool the past few days, so maybe some more are on the way!

As for the rest, I'm going to let the photos speak for Noah on what he's up to.

Standing
In the past month, you've gone from reluctant on knees, to a wobbly stand, to full-on standing all the time, like when you wake up from your nap in your crib. No cruising, yet.

Speed crawling
Duder is fast!

Gesturing
You can wave "hi" and just started raising your arms for "so big!"

...okay so this video isn't the best, but he was waving to me so cute before this shot started, I swear!

Weird hair
Your hair is starting to get a little "party in the back"/hair over the ears/comb-
over in the front going on, so I think we're going to get you a little pre-Easter haircut this week, which will be your first haircut. :( You have a lot more hair than your brother, who got his first haircut at 18 months!

Drama
As for drama, you are still very emotive. This is when you cried when your brother took away the saw of his you were using. You were happy a second later when he gave you a hammer in replacement. You let us know when you want something or don't like something. You are also horrible about having your diaper changed! You won't lay still, at all and like to cry because we are keeping you from crawling! Oh, Noah!

Bluebonnets!

2011-04-14T20:45:00.004-05:00

Miracle of miracles, there was a huge crop of bluebonnets right there in our backyard at the lake house.

Is there nothing cuter than two brothers? I kind of love the second one, even with JM's scrunched up face... and can I get a woot for getting a real smile out of the JMster in the first?

Thankful

2011-04-14T19:42:00.004-05:00

Since I've been such a Debbie Downer the past few days, I feel the need to focus on my blessings. Today they are:
1. Healthy kids. Last night poor little Noah threw up twice in the middle of the night, but he was better today. Maybe a 24 hour bug? Overall, we are just so blessed that they are relatively drama-free. Some two almost three year-olds are on annoying nap strikes at the moment, and changing sheets covered in vomit half asleep is never fun, but they are still pretty amazing kids.
2. Water table. This provided a good 20 min of dirty, sandy fun this afternoon, so I could do other things like fold laundry, I mean watch Oprah.
3. My awesome husband, Michael and his flexible job which allowed him to come home slightly early so I could...
4. ZUMBA!
5. And our instructor, who let 4 of us latecomers join an already full class. I really didn't want to run on the treadmill, so bless you!
6. Torchy's Tacos. Where I went after class ALONE and scarfed down two delicious tacos not having to worry about feeding anyone besides myself. The Mr. Miyagi totally rocked (ahi tuna, cabbage, delicious sauce and crunchy things on top).
7. Feeling happy and re-energized after some me-time.
8. SweetTarts Jellybeans, of which I have eaten quite a lot of today, offsetting Zumba.
9. It's no red wine, but my new drink of choice, the greyhound, of which I am going to go make myself one right now... I feel blessed to be an adult where we actually have liquor and fruit juice in the house so if I want to make a cocktail, I can.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm blessed!

In a kitchen daydream

2011-04-14T10:58:00.007-05:00

We're probably adding on to our house!
Our architect just left.
Yes, our architect!
We found a nice lady who was recommended by a contractor I met with last fall.
Yes, last fall. I've been doing research for a while, but I think we're moving forward.
I've been feeling tired and grumpy lately (understatement), but this project inspires me.
My 1960s kitchen has no counter space and I've got sippy cups and leftover containers piled on top of cookie sheets in some spaces.

Right now, we are in the dream phase, where no discussions of cost have taken place.
So I'm dreaming of a farm sink.
Of a marble and butcher block island. (ehem, cost, marble... cough... dream)
Of a "nook" where my kids can sit and do their homework and I can have a desk. A desk! (I don't have a desk now, so my filing system is a portable poly binder and our printer is in the living room cabinet).
I've been getting a lot of ideas from GardenWeb's forums. We'll see what reality turns out to be, but right now it's looking like a lot of white cabinetry, some sort of grey, marble looking if not marble countertops, and a traditional look to match the look of the rest of our house. The first picture is my favorite and inspiration (one someone did based on the Something's Gotta Give kitchen, which I also love). So exciting!

Not the bluebonnets of yore

2011-04-07T10:52:00.007-05:00

I feel like I "should" have a bluebonnet picture with Noah.
I mean I did it the past two years with JM.
But getting them both all dressed up, and to a field, and when the bluebonnets actually look good and at exactly the right time when no one is napping is tricky. Hence the other day we were on a walk and I saw some bluebonnets and got out my cell phone. Heck; these may be our only bluebonnet pictures this year.

It's hard being a child photographer. Runny noses. No one is looking. No one is smiling. Older child is picking at bluebonnets in between his legs and it looks like he's grabbing his crotch... Maybe this weekend at the lake we'll get a better one with them in pristine seersucker outfits....

Even though no one is looking or smiling, I like this one. It's a happy reminder of this time. Anyway, I think the important thing is for me not to put so much pressure on myself. What are your "shoulds?" Beware the shoulds!

Miss Jackson, if you're nasty...

2011-04-05T09:50:00.010-05:00

As if we weren't already dog tired from the wedding stuff and cousin visit and not to mention close to the poorhouse with paying babysitters for said occasions, Michael and I decided we could not pass up an opportunity to see Miss Jackson, that is Janet, if you're nasty, at the new Austin City Limits venue on Sunday night. I am not the kind of Janet fan to wear a concert tee to the concert, but I did spend a lot of time on Kelly Doze's grass in 3rd grade making up dances to "Control" and pining over high school boyfriends to "Again" et cetera.

It was amazing to see such a living legend. This tour is targeted at smaller venues, so that Janet (who by the way is "Skinny Janet" at the moment, akin to "Skinny Oprah") can "get in touch with her fans" playing all of her number 1 hits, which are many. The new ACL theatre in the W Hotel is super mod, serves a full premium bar and with only 2900 seats, is a VERY cool place to see a show.

We opted for one of the 75 standing floor seats, which meant that we had this view of Miss Janet. I'm not sure if we'd do it, again, considering with my 4 inch heels off I couldn't see a damn thing besides Janet's body and a light. Michael had a great view being taller than me. But, with the added 4 inches, I could both feel Janet's sweat flying off the stage 10 feet from me and see her. Note to self: bring Toms in purse next time. Janet looked and sounded great. At first, it seemed like she wasn't working the crowd the way she should in such a small venue (maybe she spent the day out on Lake Austin and needed her Monster energy drink to kick in, I dunno), but after she got going, we were feeling the love. A great moment was her encore, when she did "Together Again" and the screen behind her flashed all sorts of pictures of she and Michael growing up and the whole place was dancing and singing. It was a pretty emotional moment. At one point she threw her arms up during the line where she says "There are times when I look above and beyond. There are times when I feel your love around me, baby" and especially having lost my dad, my heart broke a little for her. There was big talk in the hall prior to the show, wondering if she'd do a "Michael" tribute. She didn't, so the "Together Again" was the only other nod to him, the other being when she did a virtual duet in "Scream" earlier in the playlist. As much as she tried to make her own name in the 80s and 90s, I think what she did do was perfect. I would imagine trying to sing his songs would be difficult, emotionally. Anyway, Janet, you rock. You seem a pillar of quiet strength. I just want to hug you!

Something I'm filing away from the evening... I was walking back from the bathroom and had a very dramatic moment where a well-dressed gay was walking past me going the other direction. He said "I LOVE your dress!" and I replied "Thank you!" It happened without either one of us stopping to miss a beat. For the record, I went with a light grey Jennifer Beals 1980s cotton cropped thingy with a large elastic black belt that was about 4 inches shorter than anything I'd normally wear. Anyway, dear gay, the self esteem of this tired 34 year-old mama of two says THANK YOU!!!! That one should keep me going for a while...

Love and Dirty 6th

2011-04-03T09:16:00.012-05:00

My brother had his small wedding three weeks ago, went on their honeymoon to Barcelona, then came back to host a huge party last night. Although our wedding was lovely, I have to say that Peter and Sarah had the right idea with this concept. Both celebrations were really nice and intimate and more importantly, not filled with lots of stresses that a lot of weddings have. Their first dance at last night's reception was "The Safety Dance" played off an iPod. How cool is that? I loved our wedding, but I spent a lot of time worrying about flowers, wedding programs, DJs, transportation and money. Peter and Sarah didn't have any of this. Or, didn't seem to.

Anyway, because of the party, my "Chicago" cousins are in town (28 and 22, respectively), which has meant that we've gone out the past three nights in a row, which is not something I have done since my early 20s. And, in a town of a million different bars, somehow we wound up going to Cheers on "Dirty 6th" (the area east of Congress) twice in that time. Heck, I'm just going to let the pictures from my phone speak for themselves, here. Yes, you are correct. That is flaming alcohol you see. Stay klassy, parents of young children... Good times

First McDonalds

2011-03-29T10:52:00.005-05:00

I am not a fast food person, but for some reason, since Lent started, I keep getting these cravings for Filet o' Fish sandwiches on Fridays.

So what just a month ago was John Michael never in his whole life having visited McDonalds (with me, anyway), has now turned into us having three Happy Meal toys floating around my car. Crazy! I guess this is how it happens. One day, they only eat dried mango, organic edamame and brown rice and the next, it's all Mickey D's, all the time. I kid. Everything in moderation. Including moderation! Ha!

Last week, John Michael got stuck high up on the McDonalds playscape and I had to climb up and help him come down. When I returned into full view of baby Noah, this is what he was doing.

Yes, he was eating John Michael's cheeseburger. That baby has Go-Go Gadget arms to stretch across the table to get whatever he wants. I emailed this to Michael at work and he showed his co-worker who said, "Isn't your baby a little small for a cheeseburger?" He's very advanced, this Noah. Of course we didn't give it to him intentionally, silly!

Monumental

2011-03-27T14:50:00.004-05:00

On Friday afternoon, something magical happened. John Michael told me that he wanted to pretend to be a "baby frog" so I put him in Noah's crib while Noah was in there. I sat there for a few minutes observing them squeal and roll around in there, then realized my presence was not needed: they were PLAYING TOGETHER!

People said this would happen. "Some day they are going to be the best of friends," they told me, as I was feeling that monstrous guilt after introducing this new human into JM's perfect solo-child life during the needy newborn stage.

Sure, enough, it did indeed. They played together happily, allowing me to put away laundry for about 5 minutes in another room. Don't worry, I could hear them and could interfere, if necessary. Which it was not, until old toddler's short term attention span kicked in and he was ready to play something else.

I have hope, people!

Remembering Grandma

2011-03-25T19:02:00.010-05:00

It's been kind of a crazy week.
Monday, my uncle called to let us know that my grandma had passed.
My last living grandparent, Grandma was 95 years old. She had been declining in health for a long time, so her death was not altogether unexpected. God bless her, she did bounce back a number of times (the women in my family are strong and live a long time), but finally passed.

Anyway, fast forward 16 or so hours and Noah, mom, Lauren and I are all on a 6am flight to Pittsburgh for the wake Tuesday and service Wednesday. The trip was nothing if, not a well-timed whirlwind. Someone was looking out for us, as we all used miles at the last-minute to book flights together. It was nice to go and visit with family that I haven't seen in years.

Nobody else offered to do a eulogy, so I wound up reluctantly agreeing. I am a much better writer than I am speaker (and you see here how good that is!) and with all the planes, trains and automobiles, only wrote a few bullet points on the way to the Mass with a lot of help from my mom. I hope I did Grandma proud talking about the things we could learn from her life; specifically dedication and love for family, hard work and faith throughout struggle. My dad, uncle and grandpa were my grandma's life. No one worked harder than she did in her yard. She was dealt a lot of blows in this life, including loss of a childhood helping raise her younger siblings (she was one of 13), multiple miscarriages and my uncle born months premature, not being able to be as close to us grandkids as she would have liked as we moved to Iowa when I was 4, the loss of my grandpa to prostate cancer and the loss of my dad to stomach cancer. Losing my grandpa 20 years ago was difficult for her, but losing my dad broke her heart. Nonetheless, she remained devout in her faith. I learned on our trip that she and my grandpa founded their neighborhood church, which turned from a small country parish into the much larger suburban parish it is today.

I hope Grandma has some peace.

We left late Wednesday afternoon amidst a huge storm stretching from the Midwest to the East Coast, that had hail and tornadoes in the area and a promise from our pilot that the flight attendants would be seated for much of the flight. The three of us are big chickens when it comes to flying, so I thought it was going to be bad. Again, someone must have looked out for us, as my prayers were answered with the sky clearing up and only a few bumps going home, getting in at 11:30 Wednesday night. Whew!

For the record, I hope I am saying the same thing at 15 months, but Noah Charles, I will travel with you ANYTIME! Noah was a trouper, sleeping on planes and foreign cribs, in funeral homes and restaurants. He was up past his bedtime on multiple occasions and generally happily along for the ride, working only his sunny disposition and Nana's bribery bowls of ice cream and offertory french fries. He was extremely patient when we had to run to make our connection in Dallas and then again when at close to midnight, we had to file a claim for his lost carseat and stroller in Austin. It was nice to get some one on one time with my happy lil guy. He is so precious to me.

It's nice to be home. Thursday afternoon, John Michael said "we missed you" and it about melted my heart. Prior to being a parent, I thought people embellished a lot when they said their kids said things like that, but he really did!

9 months

2011-03-14T10:56:00.006-05:00

Dear Noah,
We had your 9 month well check this morning and I'm pleased to say that it was one of the more boring doctor's appointments. I will take boring, any day. You are doing great. You are meeting milestones, like pulling up to stand and crawling and talking in baby talk. You are sleeping well, with two naps a day and good 12 hour stretches at night. You are a good eater and have chunked up from 5th percentile at 6 months to 15th percentile in weight at 18 lbs 4 oz. and your height is good, too at 28 and 1/4 or 50th percentile (I don't trust their height measurements, for the record. There is way too much room for error with a squirmy baby.)

I digress. This morning you had mini pancakes for breakfast with cereal and banana yogurt. Last night we went to Maudie's and gave you some finger turkey vegetable raviolis, a tortilla and some avocado which you rubbed all in your hair and our next-door table neighbors called you "guacamole baby."

You continue to be totally enthralled and fascinated by your older brother. Your face completely lights up around him. Just recently, he is starting to think you are pretty entertaining, too. I put you on the bed when we are tucking him in for his nap and you crawl around on him and scream and he thinks it's hilarious and starts screaming, too. Actually, every time you scream with glee, JM wants to do it, too. You both are hilarious (sarcasm) with your loud noises (but, I'm glad you're having fun).

At 9 months, you have 4 teeth. Your top ones just came out last week. When you are teething, you get really sad, which makes us sad. Someone asked me about your personality at Peter's wedding this weekend and I described you as being generally easygoing, however if there is something that is bothering you, you are VERY outspoken and let us know. You are kind of dramatic in your unhappiness with loud cries, but then calm down quickly when your needs have been met. Sometimes you go from screaming with discontent to utter joy within seconds in a kind of bipolar way. It's very entertaining.

We love you very much, Noah and want you to stay babyish forever.

Love,
Mama

Somebody's Getting Married

2011-03-13T11:28:00.010-05:00

My brother got married last night!
My only little brother. :(
It was a small, informal family wedding, perfect for Peter and Sarah, who are fun and not fancy.
The ceremony was at St. Edward's Chapel, where my brother went to school.
The boys came with us to the wedding, but came home and went to bed while we went to the reception. The reception was in a private room at the Clay Pit, where we all ate lots of tasty Indian food and drank, ehem a lot of wine (dispensation). It was really nice to be able to visit everyone who was there celebrating these two special people! There is something to be said for an intimate wedding with music on an iPod, lots of toasts, no head table, mango cheesecake as wedding cake and happy, smiling people .

We are so thrilled for Peter and Sarah!

Here are a few pics. I wish I would have taken more, but I was busy being thrilled for my brother, emotional missing my dad and then just having a blast kid-free at the reception!

Category 10 Meltdown

2011-03-10T10:02:00.005-06:00

Man, did I ever pick a bad time to quit the nightly red wine.

John Michael woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and went NUTS when I wouldn't let him open the car door on the way to school. Lately, I'll admit I've been letting him do it. He wants to do everything himself and quite frankly, it's helpful to have him do it when I'm trying to get Noah in the car, however my dad lost the tip of his pinky in a car door accident and every time JM does it himself, it makes me nervous. This morning I told him I needed to open the door from now on, so he went crazy. Then he got madder when I tried to distract him by asking him if he wanted to feed Bella and when he didn't come after 2 minutes (he was sobbing in the driveway), then I did it. Since we were now late for school, he got even madder when I had the nerve to buckle his carseat (he likes to do the top part), but as we were already late for school, I did it myself. It was one of those mornings where reason was not present for the mister. I gave him a considerable amount of time to feed the dog or to buckle himself up, but he was still so upset about opening the car door that he cried and cried and could not act.

He screamed all the way to school. He screamed in the parking lot. He screamed all the way up the walkway. Around the parking lot he started hitting me saying "I'm hitting you, mama!" And continued to throw himself on the ground in the courtyard outside his classroom, attracting the attention of sympathetic parents (many of whom came up to me with similar sob stories. "My child did that in the Gap. I feel so bad for you. God bless them), his teacher and the school director. JM's very patient teacher invited him in to which he screamed, "NO!!!!!"

People, I had no idea what to do. Nothing was working this morning. Not redirecting. Not distracting. Not threats. Not counting. Not his teacher. Not the school director. It was a category 10 meltdown. All I could do was laugh. Thankfully I've only seen a few category 5 meltdowns from JM, so far. This level of insanity was new. He had an ear infection last week, but has been on antibiotics for a week now, so I don't think I can blame that. He was well rested yesterday, both napping and going to bed at a decent time. I think this was just the scary underbelly of toddler independence.

The director and I made the call that I should just leave him there and get me out of the situation. They told me they'd call me if they needed to. I called to check in a little while ago and he had settled down.

Thank God for small miracles that Michael worked from home this morning, so at least I just had JM to worry about on the way to school... This parenting thing is not for the weak of heart.

Loungewear

2011-03-09T14:59:00.005-06:00

I'm tired of seeing my "Dear Noah" post at the top of this page, so here I am, checking in while I'm making tonight's dinner at 3pm while the boys nap.

Today is a day where I'm in some nice elasticized waistband pants, which reminds me that a good tip for being happy staying at home is to have some cute loungewear. Living in sweats or pajamas makes me feel "frumpa lumpa" as I believe Oprah coined once (as only Oprah could, who says that?) I digress. Oprah was on the right track. It makes me feel happier when I feel pulled-together, so most days, I wear jeans and hopefully make-up. However, not every day feels like a binding-jeans-type day. Loungewear rules. Gap Body has some cute stuff. My favorite pants are some cheapies I got at Academy. They are black cotton pants that are fitted at the top and slightly flared at the ankle. They are super comfy and double as my Zumba pants.

It's Lent, starting today! I'm giving up my nightly glass of wine, which I will miss thoroughly!