Four years

John Michael turned FOUR on Friday. Whereas three seemed like no big deal, four seems extremely grown-up. We're getting way too close to kindergarten, people! By some miracle, Academy sold an ORANGE bike with training wheels

Sire spent much of the weekend racing at top speed down the driveway and back. Big hit! (And, don't worry about brain injuries to his Harvard-bound noggin, we did find him a helmet)

I won't lie. I cried when I saw him pedal away on his big boy bike.

To celebrate, we had a swim party at our neighborhood pool, which was super fun, thanks to Mr. Gattis, orange cupcakes and SANGRIA. He only wanted to invite the neighbor kids, so it was a small affair. JM is finally getting brave in the water. He swam all around with his friends. Thanks to my family, the party went smoothly despite the fact that I'm pretty sure I was nursing Aaron 75% of the two-hour party. P.S. It's not a party until someone poops in the pool and they shut the place down. P.P.S. We're pretty sure it wasn't Noah.

We love you, our sweet four year-old! Happy birthday!

Tie

JM's class at school got us this onesie when Aaron was born. He looks like a little old man going to work! Love him

Survival mode is getting old

My friend Kim and I discussed one time that with infants it's usually around the time that you are pushed to the limit and can't take any more that God blesses you with a new stage. Well, God, if you are listening, I am at that point and ready for a new stage! I'm worn out. Aaron has been hard to get to sleep lately. Overnight, he is waking up every 2 hours! During the afternoon and early evening, he wants on the breast all the time. Aaron wants to be held all the time. If you put Aaron in his bed when seemingly tight asleep, he inevitably wakes up 5-10 minutes later. He's not crazy about a sling for far, sooooo, we now introduce swing sleep with a swaddle sack and a paci. Noah spent months sleeping in the swing during the day and he sleeps great, so I'm not worried about bad habits. I'm more concerned with survival. Swing worked this morning. Crossing fingers this will offer us some relief. Michael has had to totally take over for me lately and I feel bad. I know my main job is Aaron's Milk Maker right now and I'm excelling there. Actually, I am due a raise! in every other facet of parenting and running this household, I feel like I'm not contributing. I know someday I will miss holding sweet newborns all the time, but right now, my arms and breasts are worn out!

Mother's Day in Pictures

Breakfast in bed and new mug for the GALLON of coffee I need lately

Church and breakfast #2 at IHOP

Boys acting naughty at IHOP

They are lucky they're cute!

So happy and blessed. Wearing my first macaroni necklace JM made at school! Notice the color :)

Aaron is 1 month old!

Dear Aaron, How are you already a month old? These past four weeks since we've known you have gone by fast. You are a sweetie pie. Tonight we took you to the pool and you slept the whole time, even when Noah dripped wet all over you trying to give your head a "soft touch" (parentheses= sarcasm). When that happened, an observer next to us noted that you were definitely the third child! You go with the flow. You are generally happy. You are a good eater. You are a great nurser, but you will definitely take a bottle and don't care if you get breast milk or formula. You get breast milk all the time, but mama hates pumping, so the two times we've been out (thank you Nana and Poppa!), you've gotten a little formula mixed in there, too. You have embarrassing and endearing loud newborn poops. You are the best burper we've ever met. Seriously, up on the shoulder and a few taps and you burp with ease. So far you aren't too crazy about the pacifier. You like Mama, or rather Mama's milk. You and I have spent a LOT of time together these past few weeks. Some of my favorite memories include every day when you snuggle in and take nursing naps with me in our bed. You are a perfect little size. You like to be carried on our shoulders with your head up against ours. You are my best eater and weight-gainer of the three boys. You gained over a pound in a week and are probably about 9.5 lbs right now (at birth you were 7lb 14oz). You eat every 2-3 hours round the clock with one long stretch of 4-5 hours at night. Physically, you look a lot like your brothers (light hair/light eyes), but we think you have a lot more of Daddy's side in you. I even think that your skin smells like Daddy's. You have very little hair and the hair you do have is more light brown than blonde. You have no eyebrows and very short eyelashes. You have the cutest little wrinkles on your head and sometimes we see a dimple on your cheek. You have a cleft chin and a little cleft over your lip, as well. Um, and you STILL have your umbilical cord. I distinctively remember a nurse in the hospital saying it would fall off after a week, but it's still there and I love it. You are our baby and we want you to stay a baby.

Little one, we are so so glad you've come! We love you! Love, Mama

Surviving and thriving

We are surviving. By that, I mean in a 24 hour period, I have literally gone from saying "We have too many babies!" one minute to "I can do this" the next.  At the moment, keeping my head above water is a minute-to-minute thing.  I'm reminding myself to keep it simple.  I'm trying not to feel guilty about the fact that at 3:15am when I was feeding Aaron this morning, I couldn't get out of my head "Let's build a word!  Let's build it! Let's build it!" from Word World, because John Michael has been watching a lot of TV while I'm nursing (Noah, not so much.  He just does stuff to try to goad me on and get my attention like throwing Color Wonder marker caps at me while I'm nursing to see if I'll put him in time-out.  Serenity now!  Oye!  Why won't he watch TV?!  I digress).   Anyway, I'm trying to get us out of the house.  I'm trying to take deep breaths.   I'm trying to celebrate the small victories, like the fact that we're all fed and clothed.  I'm trying to feed myself and put on makeup, so I feel good about myself.  The key word here is TRY.  I'm definitely not walking around here looking like Glamourmama every day, but I'm trying to be clean and somewhat presentable.  Whereas I many times could and do very easily cry at the stressful nature of having three young children and how ridiculous I look say trying to take a toddler to the bathroom with a screaming baby in a carrier on one arm and another toddler who is running the other way and won't come, I am trying to stay in the moment and not take this too seriously and try to laugh.  Having an almost-4, an almost-2 and a newborn is completely redonkulous!  Just watch us try to go anywhere.  Really, I'm trying to be grateful for the good stuff, more than anything.

Last week, it was ear infections for JM and Noah.  This week, our weekly trip to the pediatrician was for Aaron, who has been sputtering and choking on his milk.  Anyway, he's fine.  So fine, actually, that he's gained more than a pound in a week.  Chunky chunkster!  He's up to 9lbs 5 oz.  Considering all he does is eat, especially the past few nights every two hours from 11-5 (ehem), I am thrilled that my hard work is at least paying off.  You may recall that I had serious weight-gain issues with John Michael (who would have thought considering he's so solid now!?).  Anyway, go Aaron!

This is Noah "hugging" Aaron.  He is fascinated by Aaron and would hug him all day if I would let him.

So sweet!

Anyway, the days and nights drag on, but it also goes fast.  Aaron will be a month old on Saturday!  How did that happen?!

Lake

We took the boys to the lake house last weekend.  Michael and I remember the days when we first took baby John Michael to the lake and how we filled my whole car with the Boppy, the play mat, the breast pump, the Pack and Play, the Boppy papasan chair, the bouncy chair, etc.  Now, with Aaron, we brought the Pack and Play and his carseat.  :)  Anyway, the weather was great and we all had such a nice time.  It's good to get a little change of scenery!  By the way, the picture of me in my robe?  What happens when you mention you want a picture with Aaron to Michael and you happen to have just rolled out of bed.... Well, it proves I was there.

Miraculous

The past few days with Aaron have been HARD.  I was talking with my neighbor women the other day and we agreed that with time us mamas forget these early days of infancy or else the human species WOULD NOT GO ON!  For three nights in a row, Aaron was waking up every 1.5 to 2 hours.  There was a lot of me putting him back in his bed after a nice long 45 minute feeding at 2:30am and then at 3:30, he'd start crying again.  You know, just when my head hit the pillow?  Those nights when I decided to just sleep in the rocker in his room and woke up more than once with Aaron on the Boppy and me passed out underneath him.  Sigh.

Yesterday, a lightbulb went on in my cloudy and tired brain and I realized he has his days and nights confused.  During the day yesterday I made a concerted effort to get him out of his pajamas and into lighted rooms, to feed him every 2-3 hours and to wake him to feed him during his long lunchtime snooze.  Knock on wood, but the little stinker slept for 4.5 hours, then 4 and then 3.5 during the night last night.  That is DOUBLE the sleep I've been getting!!!! Thank you, Aaron!  Even if he goes back to 1.5 hours tonight, at least I know he can do it!  Woo hoo!

10 on Tuesday

...the sleep-deprived version. I'm not sure I have the strength for a full post right now, so here's a 10 on Tuesday:

1. Add to the list of things I don't need right now bronchitis. I have been hacking up a lung, especially at night for the past four days. Went to the doctor, yesterday, and sure enough, I have bronchitis. The good news is that I waited so long to go to the doctor that I feel a lot better, now.

2. Also on the list of stuff I don't need is a thyroid ultrasound, because the doctor says my thyroid is four times the size of what it should be. He thinks this is hormone-related. I'm trying not to worry.

3. The past two nights I have successfully kept myself asleep while feeding Aaron at night. I don't turn on any lights. I latch him on. I don't let my mind get "awake." Aaron eats. I fall asleep in his rocking chair with him in my arms. I wake up 15 minutes later to change his diaper and change sides, then latch him on the other side and then conk out again and wake up usually 45 minutes later to both of us asleep. God bless that child. It almost and I mean, almost, feels like normal sleep. I really hope Aaron is back to his birthweight at two weeks because he is sure eating A LOT.

4. John Michael and Noah are acting particularly horrendously the past few days. I am trying to be sympathetic to the huge life change they have also undergone, but seriously? Hitting? Throwing items at each other? Kicking mama? Oye ve. Thank God I can drink a glass of wine again. Sweet, sweet wine.

5. That said, I love Legos. We just discovered Legos over here. Mom found a Bob the Builder Duplo kit at a garage sale and it has been distracting both big boys while I breastfeed for hours on end.

6. Picking up Legos is going to drive me batty.

7. It takes a village. I am incredibly thankful for the friends and neighbors who have helped me out the past few days, having my kids over for playdates, bringing us dinner, babysitting so Michael and I can go see a movie (love you, Nana and Poppa) and for offering to bring JM home from school for me. Do you know someone who recently had a baby who has an older sibling? Offer to take the older kids for a bit. It is a huge help.

8. My husband rocks. Aaron ate at 5:45 this morning and I went back to bed and slept until 8. I'm so thankful his job is flexible. I'm not sure how effective his conference calls are with two needy toddlers, but I am grateful he can (try to) work from home to help me out!

9. Best new parent baby gift ever= 2 lbs of Alterra coffee from Milwaukee! (see 3). I love you, Karen G!

10. Speaking of beautiful gifts, Mike's friend Corinne knit us this gorgeous Love Cocoon for baby Aaron. She also knit the blanket Aaron is laying on underneath. Is this not so precious? She even has an Etsy store, so you can get your own cocoon. Love! She is so talented. Anyway, do you not want to kiss every wrinkle on this baby's head? I do!

Good days and bad

Today was a good day.
Yesterday and particularly, last night, were bad.
The adrenaline wore off. The devil seeped in and I started worrying about Aaron's eating. He wouldn't latch on. He cried. I cried. Ah, sweet days of sleep deprivation and newborn neediness.
This happens every time to me! The first few days are great. Then I get tired. Then I get grumpy. Then I start to freak out and worry about baby weight. You would think I would remember! The predictability of it all is actually quite funny!

Anyway, today has been much much better. I started writing down when I fed Aaron and how many poops and pees, so I can see how well he's doing and feel more organized. Maybe tonight I won't have a meltdown at 10:30. Right now, I'm living in the moment. In this moment, I am doing okay. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is unknown. Today I'm just happy for this:
And, this:

And, for Michael. Doing the dishes. Folding laundry. Dealing with "hold you, peas" Noah at 6:45. He rocks. Anyway, so far Aaron is a dream. He is pretty chill, which is very much what we need in this toddler frat house!